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" Gay rights are not primarily marriage rights, and for the millions who live in unaccepting places with no resources, dignity remains elusive. I am lucky to have forged meaning and built identity, but that's still a rare privilege. And gay people deserve more, collectively, than the crumbs of justice. "

Andrew Solomon

Marriage

Live

Justice

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" Shutting out the depression strengthens it. While you hide from it, it grows. "

" Nowadays, people often ask me when I came out, generalising from the experience of many young people who announce themselves to the world on a particular afternoon. But I did not divorce my reticence in a single sharp break. Rather, I seeped out like a spreading wine stain. "

Andrew Solomon

Experience

People

" There is enormous shame around depression of any kind and at any time. And there's enormous social stigma attached to it, which we need to go on fighting. But I think that the sense of depression during pregnancy and early motherhood has been particularly stigmatized, that people especially feel that should be the happiest time of your life. "

" As a little kid in the late 1960s, I was afraid of the world. Even if I didn't get caught in the draft that was sending American teenagers to Vietnam, there was always the possibility of a Soviet nuclear attack. I made constant escape plans and imagined a life going from port to port. "

" One of the things that frequently gets lost in descriptions of depression is that the depressed person often knows that it is a ludicrous condition to feel so disabled by the ordinary business of quotidian life. "

" I'm attached to my children with whatever flaws they have, and if some glorious angel broke through the living room ceiling and offered to exchange them for other, better children, I'd cling to my kids and pray away this specter. "

" When I was born, the wisdom was that homosexuality was an illness; that it was caused largely by somebody's mother, and a distorted relationship with the mother. And now, as I live my life - married to a husband, with kids - it's an identity. "

" Dealing with depression effectively is a mark not of weakness, but of strength. "

" It's important to say that depression has biological underpinnings, and that while medications do not seem to create irreversible changes in the brain, repeated depressive episodes do. "

" Parenting is no sport for perfectionists. "

" A breakdown involves getting to the point at which your mental state prevents you from doing the normal things of your everyday life. I remember from my own experience that I was completely ambushed by mine. "

" We can never afford to be complacent; there is no such thing as security when it comes to human rights. "

" Every stage of life longs for others. When one is young and eager, one aspires to maturity, and everyone older would like nothing better than to be young. "

" Depression is so exhausting - it takes up so much of your time and energy - and silence about it, it really does make the depression worse. "

Andrew Solomon

Silence

Depression

" People who are different are constantly dealing with families who don't understand them. "

" Kids with Down syndrome are, by and large, quite affectionate and relatively guileless, and frequently, the attachments to them grow and deepen. And the meaning that parents find in it grows and deepens. "

" I often say that the opposite of depression is not happiness but vitality. "

" Parenting involves two separate activities. You have to change your child in that you need to educate your child and instill moral values in them. But you also need to celebrate your child for who he or she is and make them feel really good. "

" While all old people have been young, no young people have been old, and this troubling fact engenders the frustration of all parents and elders, which is that while you can describe your experience, you cannot confer it. "

" I had always thought of myself as fairly tough and fairly strong and fairly able to cope with anything. And then I had a series of personal losses. My mother died. A relationship that I was in came to end, and a variety of other things went awry. "

" No perfectionist has ever met his own benchmarks, and no one so famished for admiration has ever received enough of it. "

" I like the relative literacy of at least some of England. I mean, I didn't come for the food or the weather! "

" You don't think in depression that you've put on a gray veil and are seeing the world through the haze of a bad mood. You think that the veil has been taken away, the veil of happiness, and that now you're seeing truly. "

" The anxiety phase of my first depression lasted six months. It was incredibly paralyzing. "