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" Goalies almost never get credit for winning a game, but they always get blamed for losing a game. "

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" It's not a master plan to do every remake and every recreation of icons. It's just what I've been hired to do. "

" I had, like, two goals in my career: One was to try to get into 'Second City.' When I moved to Chicago, my goal was to try to work at 'Second City.' And beyond that, my goal was to make enough money as an actor to not do anything else but act, not have to go and wait tables again. "

" I'm listening to a lot of Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, and Rihanna. A lot of pop female artists. I have to say I'm pretty well-versed in the pop female category. "

" I'm a fun dad, but I don't know if I'm the fun, crazy dad. "

" A healthy body means a healthy mind. You get your heart rate up, and you get the blood flowing through your body to your brain. Look at Albert Einstein. He rode a bicycle. He was also an early student of Jazzercise. You never saw Einstein lift his shirt, but he had a six-pack under there. "

" Don't underestimate your kids. Don't be condescending, because they're children but they're not stupid. "

" Everybody wants to be a Bond villain. That is the coolest. To be able to portray a Bond villain, that is the feather in any actor's cap. "

" Whenever I hear someone describe something as a 'kids movie' or a 'family movie,' it immediately has a negative connotation in my mind because I think, 'Well, as an adult, I wouldn't go see it by myself, because it's purely for children and it holds nothing for me and it's simplistic and it's kind of easy.' "

" Whenever you see people talking about how real they are or how normal they are, it seems odd to have that self awareness that you could potentially not be normal. "

" What kind of person would have a real craving for gummy worms? "

" Being an action star is all I had ever hoped to be. I ultimately knew I would be an action star. "

" My wife is way funnier than I am. As much as I don't really feel I share a sense of humour with my family, I definitely share one with her - we find the same things funny. "

" I don't even know if I have kind of a personal, like a take or a mental manual of how I'm raising kids. It's really - I think with everybody, it's just day-to-day and you just try to deal with every situation as they come. "

" If we were meant to read for enjoyment, would God have created television? Read as it was intended - for exercise. The more you read, the more you expand your - what's the word I'm looking for? - your stockpile of words. You must have a stockpile of words that you can pass along to your children for their stockpile. "

" Relationships shouldn't be disposable. If there's something worth saving - not always the case, some relationships are irreconcilable - but if there is something that you determine is worth saving, then try to do that. "

" I had a friend who, after 25 years of marriage, found himself trying to date again, and it was completely different. Everything had changed, and he had to reacquaint himself. It was funny even talking to him about it. For someone who has been out of the loop, it's a different world. "

" I've always enjoyed watching characters that aren't aware that they're doing anything funny. And I think that inherently makes them funnier. "

" My father is Italian, and I never met my paternal grandparents. The family name was 'Caroselli' and it was changed in the mid '50s. I think they wanted to assimilate, which was pretty common, although I love the name 'Caroselli.' "

" My job doesn't define my kids in any way. When we go to places, it's about them and it's about us as a family. I think they're proud of me, but I'm just Dad. "

" I had a lot of coaches growing up that were very hard on the kids in the name of building character, but it could have the opposite effect on kids. "

" There's very little you could do to prepare to be a correspondent on 'The Daily Show,' because it's not being a journalist, it's not being an actor. It involves elements of both of those things, but they're not required necessarily as job experience. It's helpful if you know how to improvise, but again, not a requirement. "

" You're doing your kids a disservice if they do get everything they want because that's not the way life's going to go, and I think kids have to have some reality. "

" From cheesecake on a stick to meat skewers to deep-fried bananas on a stick - there are no plates anymore. In Los Angeles, everything has become a corn dog. Actually, corn dogs still work. But most other food should be stickless. "

" I know I'm not a woman's fantasy man; I don't have to uphold this image of male beauty, so that's kind of a relief in a way. "

" I've waited my entire life to be busy. Whenever I hear actors complain about being busy, I think, 'shut up.' Because you do, you wait to be successful or to be able to work. "

" I always feel so pretentious talking about comedy and deconstructing it. It always feels somehow self-centred to talk about any sort of process. "

" It's interesting when you're trying to create a character in animation. It's really a communal effort. "

" I don't know how other people perceive the lives of actors, but my life is fairly ordinary. I go to work, I come home, I put my kids to bed. If I'm home in time for dinner, I have dinner, and then it's bedtime. "

" Sending a handwritten letter is becoming such an anomaly. It's disappearing. My mom is the only one who still writes me letters. And there's something visceral about opening a letter - I see her on the page. I see her in her handwriting. "

" Because I went from the 'Daily Show' where I was a fake news guy on a fake news show, to 'Bruce Almighty' where I played a news guy, to 'Anchorman' where I played a news guy, now I'm... yeah, I tend to gravitate towards suits. "