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" Golfers don't scream. Golfers just adjust the pleats in their pants and go from there. That's about as antagonistic as we get. "

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" I've forgotten more about bad putting than all the lousy putters in the firmament combined. My mind has been twisted into an incurable, disturbing venue of bad speed and inadequate line. I just want to go out and not feel like I'm putting a Rubik's Cube with a flimsy piece of rope. "

" I hate to repeat lines, to say the same damned thing. I try to rewrite cliches and make what I say sound fresh. "

" He hits the ball a long way and he knows how to win. "

" My interest in magic was kindled by Steve Martin, the comedian I'd gone to high school with. "

" If you are going to make a change, don't go halfway. Make it with conviction and stick with your new idea. Ignore the scoffers. Remember, it is a law of nature that if something is different you're going to be taunted, jeered, and told the world is flat. Let the doubters fall off the edge. "

" The first time I played a PGA Tour event at Tucson was 1975. I came off the course on Sunday feeling very good about myself. I'd finished at even par, and I knew I could play even better if I worked at it. "

" He's a threat to win until his brain turns to tapioca. "

" I'm nearsighted in my right eye, have glaucoma in my left, and the nerves in my hands are on Medicare. Basically, I'm on the wrong end of a short sale. "

" I made nothing happen very slowly. "

" I don't putt face-on exclusively, but in the back on my mind I'm haunted by the notion that I'm sure it's the best way to putt. "

" He's got an overall flair for the game. It looks to me like he really loves what he does and he can't wait to get up in the morning, go hit some balls and go play. "

" Many years ago, in the throes of my struggles on the PGA Tour, I had difficulty even getting into pro-ams. I needed money, so I put together a 45-minute magic show I'd perform at corporate events surrounding the tournament. "