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" I always try to balance the light with the heavy - a few tears of human spirit in with the sequins and the fringes. "

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" I feel like a million tonight - but one at a time. "

" I already have a Tony for my Broadway concert in '73. It's one of the most precious things I've won. "

" I made a pact with myself a long time ago: Never watch anything stupider than you. It's helped me a lot. "

" I wouldn't say I invented tacky, but I definitely brought it to its present high popularity. "

" Group conformity scares the pants off me because it's so often a prelude to cruelty towards anyone who doesn't want to - or can't - join the Big Parade. "

" If I could be granted a wish, I'd shine in your eye like a jewel. "

" I never know how much of what I say is true. "

" If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it? "

" I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me. "

" I celebrate everyone's religious holidays. if it's good enough for the righteous, it's good enough for the self-righteous, I always say. "

" I learned to accept the audience's happiness for me, which is one of the hardest things for me to learn. "

" Writing a book is not as tough as it is to haul thirty-five people around the country and sweat like a horse five nights a week. "

" I'm working my way toward divinity. "

" I'd make a wonderful Lady Macbeth. I'll wear a pair of platform shoes or something. "

" My idea of superwoman is someone who scrubs her own floors. "

" When it's three o'clock in New York, it's still 1938 in London. "

" Rap is poetry set to music. But to me it's like a jackhammer. "

" I had a hard-scrabble childhood with my parents. I have a lot of baggage. To come down to the footlights and accept the audience's affection inside a Broadway theater - that didn't come easily to me. "

" I bear no grudges. I have a mind that retains nothing. "

" The worst part of success is to try finding someone who is happy for you. "

" I try not to drink too much because when I'm drunk, I bite. "

" After thirty, a body has a mind of its own. "

" I'd never done a straight play before, never, and it was very hard work - really, really hard work. It was dense, really wordy, and I was determined to learn every word of it - not just skip over bits and pieces. "

" Cherish forever what makes you unique, 'cuz you're really a yawn if it goes. "