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" I am tired of angry feminists. I like my women happy, gregarious... and bathed. "

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" Jews don't care about ancient rivalries. We worry about humidity in Miami. "

" We are not imperialists. We don't even try to take over Canada. It would be easy, although it might take a rear guard action to guard Anne Murray. "

" Barack Obama has raised tons of money. That is what he means by being green. "

" Michelle Obama was asked when life begins. According to her it's when she and Barack take over the White House. "

" First there was racism. Then liberals created institutional racism and coded racism. You can only hear it with a dog whistle. "

" Barack Obama says that we need to be humble toward terrorism. Yet he is the one we have been waiting for. That is humble? "

" Tony Rezko and Bill Ayers should lead the Democratic Party. They are the only Democrats with any convictions. "

" Jews were asked when life begins. For them it's when they finally graduate medical school. "

" Academics act like they are important, but when something is academic it is meaningless. People say, 'It's academic, now let's get work done.' "

" At the Olympics in China, every color was represented... and that was just the drinking water. "

" What Democrats call 'nuanced', most people refer to as 'stupidity.' "