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" I definitely do weird things every show. "

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" I love the idea that I have the power to look for the projects I can put myself into, but I'm still at that level of just being happy to have a job. "

" Sometimes I try to sell shows with a female lead to networks, and that isn't something that's been a proven formula for them, so they reject it. I do feel like men get the funniest roles in movies. "

" I never really saw myself as a standup comedian. I always just thought of myself as someone who used the eight minutes or 10 minutes she was allotted and had a blast. "

" My style can't be held within a pixel medium. Like, it needs to be performed in a living, breathing space. People need to have all their senses ready to take on my comedy, and unfortunately, TV alienates at least their sense of touch, taste, smell. "

" I think growing up on a farm in a certain amount of isolation, with not a lot of friends nearby, makes you entertain yourself and kind of grows your imagination - being alone is quite good for all that. You make up stories, talk to the animals, let them be an audience, a bunch of cows. "

" In the U.K., there's absolutely no money for television. So you can do pretty much whatever you want. They're not losing money on any of the shows, so they'll give you a lot of creative freedom. In the United States, there are millions and millions of dollars at stake, so they need a sure formula. "

" I think I've always had a disconnect from what I'm supposed to be like. "

" I've been lucky. The projects I've gotten to work on are projects I'd want to watch myself. That's what I try to shoot for. "

" My sensibilities are like, 'I want it to be weirder.' "

" I definitely had a Paul Rudd crush. He's great. "

" I used to go to open mics in New York when I was starting out, and it was mostly just people who wanted an audience to look at them for eight minutes on a stage. "

" I just really like people, and being a freelancer can be lonely during the day, when you're at home trying to write anything you can. 'Flight Of The Conchords' was so wonderful because I had a family for two years. "

" Most of the people I know in comedy are not weird or messed up. "

" You go from nobody looking at you to people taking second looks. I remember really loving it - and then feeling so guilty for loving it. Like, 'That's gross, Kristen.' Also, telling myself it could go away at any moment, and I'd be so sad. "

" I don't enjoy reality television at all. I have to say that I get it, though. I watch some of it, and I understand why people enjoy it. "

" It's not hard to be a woman in comedy as long as you're also a writer. You have to create your opportunity. "

" I would love for people to know that the label 'feminist' is something that everyone should wear proudly, because it just means that you support women. "

" Sarcasm doesn't read sarcastic in print. "

" The more women sit down and write something in a woman's voice for a woman, they more you'll see women in comedy because gender doesn't define sense of humor. Imagination and intelligence and perspective do. "

" No one knows who the real me is, so I can be a hundred different kinds of me. "

" I would like to be known as someone who was really sweet but also knowledgeable in all areas of life. "

" Animals in general have sparked a weird depression in me, because as much as I tried, I couldn't layer a personality over them. You know what I mean? I would stare at the cows, and I would sing to the cows, and they would always just look at me blankly. "

" My parents are pretty religious, devout, but did they force it on me? No, I don't think so. I still think of myself as a Lutheran, just one who doesn't go to church. "

" I would never bring a kid to a comedy show myself, but I have noticed that I can't stop other people from bringing their kids. "

" I would be an actress for the rest of my life just because it's really relaxing. Writing is hard work, and stand-up is so stressful before you get on stage, but acting is a complete ensemble experience. "

" Bad improv happens with people who are inexperienced with each other and don't know the craft that well. But bad stand-up is something that could happen to someone at any level in their career. "

" I thought I would either be an epidemiologist or a 'Price Is Right' model. "

" I probably shouldn't say this about all animals, but at least the farm animals that I've hung out with, and even when I go to the zoo usually, they're like a blank slate. I guess that's why I like them. They're puppets, and you can imagine them being anything you want. "

" I'm not really a control person, and I'm a big believer in collaboration. I like to have a friend. "

" I loved 'Burning Love,' and I really do love almost everything Paul Scheer touches. "