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" I don't consider myself an Iranian comedian; I consider myself a comedian who happens to be of Iranian descent. "
Maz Jobrani
Happens
Comedian
Consider
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" When I told my parents I wanted to be an actor, my mom was, like, 'I think I heard you say lawyer.' "
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" The fact is, the Middle East has been going crazy for 50, 60, 70 years. So it's not like, 'Oh, I need an ISIS joke.' "
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" One of the first memories I have, we went to - actually, we stopped in New York for a little bit, and I remember going to Macy's with my mom. And I was a big fan of the color orange, and they had Snoopy orange gloves, hat and scarves. And I bought it, and it was the best thing ever. I loved America right there. That was it. "
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" I've sold shows based on my standup twice to CBS, but they've never gone past the script stage. TV is very competitive. "
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" I've grown so accustomed to my life in L.A., going to a Coffee Bean or getting breakfast at Kings Road Cafe. I've seen a lot of the world, but the diversity we have here is different. It's a mishmash, which is a nice comfort. "
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" As a Middle Eastern male, when you're in a Chuck Norris movie of the week, you know you're going to die. "
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" You know, funny can be universal. "
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" I want to show another side of Middle Easterners. My hope is that I would be able to play a variety of parts, and not always be the guy with the accent. "
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" Trump doesn't go a day without worrying me. It seems like every day there's something new. "
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" Coming from an immigrant background, where a lot of parents don't want their kids to be comedians, success was just showing my mom that I could make a living. I was like, if I can get my mom off my back, that was my success. "
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" You know how hard it's been to write material? Because to do stand-up comedy, it takes time for the material to develop. So you'll come up with a joke, you'll tweak it, you'll work it for six months, you really fine tune it, and now you've got a good bit. Well, with Trump, every day there's something new coming out. "
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" Coming from L.A. to D.C., I'm always impressed that in D.C., people are doing the things that the people in L.A. are pretending to do. Whenever I'm in D.C., I ask people what they do, and they say, 'I'm with the agency, or I'm with State.' In L.A., I ran into a guy who said, 'I'm working on an audition for a guy who happens to be with an agency.' "
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" The way we censor in America is the dollar. That's who censors. "
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" I started acting in junior high. I was in 'Guys and Dolls.' I was Stanley Kowalski. In my head, before coming to Hollywood, I thought, 'I can play anything.' "
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" Every time I see Trump on TV these days, I'm waiting for him to burst out, 'Live from New York, it's Saturday Night!' That would make sense to me - that this has all been one long 'Saturday Night Live' sketch. "
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" Here's my advice to my brown friends: The next time you're on an airplane in the U.S., just speak your mother tongue. That way, no one knows what you're saying. Life goes on. "
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Life
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" When you're a stand-up comic, you live and die by what you say on stage. There's no director or writer or producer who can tell you what to say and not to say. Once in a while, a club owner will ask a comic to work clean, or not say something, but that's few and far between. "
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" Comedy comes from tragedy, and being Iranian in America from 1979 on had been quite tragic. In stand-up comedy, I was able to take the reality and exaggerate it. "
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" A cultural thing that is funny to me is that every time I go out in D.C. after a show, all the nightclubs and restaurants are owned by Iranians and Afghans. It's funny to me how we lost our countries but we gained the nightlife. "
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Time
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Go
" I think comedy is a good way to help people change their minds. I think that if you're laughing and getting a message across, it's a lot easier than when somebody is screaming in your face. "
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Good
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" I really love D.C.; it's one of my favorite places to perform. I always say when I come here, I feel like my IQ increases by 20 points. "
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" I've always had a foot in everything. As a kid, I was active in sports and theater. Now, I'm learning I have to focus a bit. I'm trying to get to next projects, like writing a screenplay. Once that comes together, I could put my mind to another book - maybe a fun kids' book. "
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Book
Together
Sports
" I've had people come up to me after the show and say, 'Why did you not make fun of Pakistan?' People are actually upset you didn't talk about them. "
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" It's true that some countries have more volatility, but each also has nuances we don't even know about. "
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" The first acting part I ever got was a guest spot on 'Chicago Hope' playing a security guard. I thought, 'Oh, this is going to be cool.' But a little bit later, I got a vague part on this short-lived show called 'Marshall Law' with Arsenio Hall and Sammo Hung. It was a poor man's 'Rush Hour.' "
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" My parents come from that immigrant culture that places a lot of emphasis on doing well scholastically. Being a comedian or an actor is such an American thing. The Iranian culture is not about dreaming. It's about taking over your father's business, falling into line. "
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" The first time I flew after September 11, I honestly was a little paranoid. As I was going to the metal detector, I was looking at my duffel bag, and I'm like, 'Do I have anything that's like a weapon?' I was really paranoid they were gonna find something sharp, and I was gonna get in trouble. "
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" As the weeks went on, I realized there was an important role comedy would play in healing the tragedies of September 11. Comedy can help people cope, and many people were coming to the clubs to laugh out the stress. "
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" Comedy can take you a lot further in getting your point across. People are entertained, and then, by being entertained, they get your point. "
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" I think it's time that we had a dad of Middle Eastern descent on TV. The time is ripe for the Middle Eastern 'Cosby Show.' Or, as I like to call it, 'The Mazby Show.' "
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