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" I don't have any friends with cool clothes. "

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" I ran off stage at my first gig. Halfway through it, I forgot my lines and didn't know what to do, so I just ran out of the building down towards a lake. I was going to throw myself in, but the compere came out and said, 'No, it's going well, come back and finish the gig!' "

" If the 'Boosh' was a bit more of a specific thing, or less multi-limbed, we would probably have done it and moved on. "

" Comedians are not well people. Well people are not drawn to creating. "

" Musicals are just funny to me. "

" Pain - that is what life is about, isn't it? Suffering with moments of reprieve. "

" The acting life can be quite scary, really. "

" I don't like talking about myself; I'm not good at analysing myself. I don't want to analyse myself. "

" I can act with either eye, but you've got to be twice as good as an actor to act with one eye. You need to put all your emotions just through one eye and really punch it out of that eye. I found it quite difficult to do at first, and then I found a technique that allowed me to act with one eye, which I patented. "

" I miss quite major cultural signposts quite often. "

" This business is ephemeral, and you have to maintain a healthy cynicism about it. There's a 'flavour of the month' aspect to it, so you have to keep moving on and mutating. "

" I remember films I made at university, which are unbelievably pretentious. Poetry that I'd written that I delivered to camera, against a Venetian blind, strong shadows, looking slightly off-camera. "

" We have a need to make people laugh at things they'd never thought about, make them laugh at things that aren't logical. "

" I find the pressure to be funny when you're being interviewed live - quite intense. "

" Films do have suspense and tensions and scares and jumps, and I like to write things that have both in them, comedy and horror, but sometimes they are hard to balance. "

" I want to do things or write things that make people feel a bit more beautiful or tragic or something because there are so many other things than just funny. "

" I was in a band called Groove Solution. Because there was a groove crisis, and we solved it. "

" We're so insecure, comedians. 'Did you laugh? Do you think I was funny?' "

" I'm always trying to do anything between comedy and horror. "

" I've got a lot of friends with whom I discuss jazz. "

" Most comedians are borderline psychotic. It's what makes their work interesting. "

" I write tragedies and things when I'm alone. Chekhovian dramas. "

" We used to have to convince people we were funny, and it didn't always work. "

" It's strange, but something about lack of structure needs a structure itself. Otherwise, after a while, it's like looking at a Rothko painting or a Peter Greenaway film. You think, 'OK, I want to see something else now.' "

" The profession is rife with fear about your age, about your validly, longevity, appearance. It's vanity, and it's hard to sort of avoid all those things; they come at you as an actor. "

" I don't do stand-up anymore. "

" It's good to give people a jolt. If they're expecting one thing, it's important to give them something else. If you do something startling, audiences might at first freak out, but then they start to think, 'This is not going to be conventional. I'm going to enjoy this.' "

" Most stand-up is incredibly boring. It's time for people to do something else. "

" I can't do jokes. I've always come from left field and tried to subvert conventional comedy. I started as a rebellion against that - albeit a very soft and surreal rebellion. It's escapist. "

" When things start running a bit too well on the tracks, I tend to derail them if I can. "

" Life without music would be a mistake. "