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" I feel intimidated by fashion. "

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" I have a lot more fun making comedies because there's a levity on the set, and I find it difficult to go to work and, you know, cry for 12 hours. "

" Sarcasm doesn't translate in print at all. "

" I believe in all of these Irish myths, like leprechauns. Not the pot of gold, not the Lucky Charms leprechauns. But maybe was there something in the traditional sense? I believe that this stuff came from somewhere other than people's imaginations. "

" I've never really socialized; I've always been anti-social and preferred to be at home. I was never, even my late teens and early twenties, into clubs and parties and stuff like that. "

" And you know, the people who hate kids and don't want kids always end up having 50 of them. "

" In New York, especially, so much of your life is spent on the streets. You don't always want to be driving around in an SUV with a security guard. You want to be able to walk to a restaurant; you want to go and do things. "

" I always want to be a part of ensembles. Besides it feeling safer, I think it's a more fun environment to work in. To have a bunch of people collaborating on something, it takes the pressure off of each individual. "

" I've actually stopped tinting my windows because the paparazzi look for trucks and cars with supertinted windows. "

" As soon as you tell me to do one thing, I do the opposite. As soon as someone tells me not to get any more tattoos, I have this intense fire burning inside me to cover myself with them. I don't care if it's self-destructive. I just have that need to rebel. "

" I don't like feeling out of control. I have to feel like I'm in control of my body. "

" I'm horrible to live with. I don't clean. My clothes end up wherever I take them off. I forget to flush the toilet. "

" People who don't like me talk about it as though I'm trash because I have tattoos. I find that insane because it's 2008, not the 1950s. Tattoos aren't limited to sailors. It's a form of art I find beautiful. I love it. "

" I'm not a lesbian. I just think that all humans are born with the ability to be attracted to both sexes. "

" If you're in a heterosexual relationship and you're a female, you win. "

" When I talk about my husband, I feel as if people roll their eyes. It's like when you're 16 and order a martini, and the waiter says, 'Do you think I'm stupid?'. They can't grasp that I'm old enough to be married. "

" In the past, I've been reluctant to share any bits of truth about myself or to really let people in on my reality. So I have said some things to throw people off the scent of what's really going on in my life. So I have sort of aided the media in printing these misconceptions, which I regret. "

" If you're billed as a comedian, people will accept anything you say as light-hearted and not with intent behind it. "

" I haven't gone completely insane, but it might happen soon. "

" I feel people think I'm almost like a robot - like an android... I just don't really get portrayed as someone who has feelings or who is sympathetic... like a self-absorbed ice queen. "

" I like funny guys and those, for some reason, tend to be nerdy guys. "

" I would like to uncover the secrets of the universe. "

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" I think that I'm so psychotic and so mentally ill that if I could tap into that I could do something really interesting. "

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" I'm really insecure about everything. "

" I'm not a big family person. I'm more of a loner. "

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" Because everyone is someone's child, every woman seems like someone's mother. "