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" I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half-empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth. "

Janeane Garofalo

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" German accents and Hassidic accents aren't that romantic. They're more harsh. Although Hebrew, when spoken by certain people, sounds beautiful. There's this beautiful woman I know who speaks Hebrew, and when she speaks, it's so attractive. Maybe it's who's speaking it. "

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" When I see the American flag, I go, 'Oh my God, you're insulting me.' "

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" I absolutely realize that a celebrity spokesperson is not ideal. "

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" Iraq is a manufactured conflict for the sake of geopolitical dominance in the area. "

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" I say at this point, for different reasons, Bush and Hussein are both very threatening to world peace and to deny that is to be incredibly naive. "

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" Let's put it this way: I don't have a good work ethic. I have a real casual relationship with hours. I don't understand why, in entertainment, the hours are as long as they are. It seems like everything takes forever, and no one can tell you why, exactly. "

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" I don't have a good work ethic. I have a real casual relationship with hours. "

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" You know, there's nothing more interesting than seeing a bunch of racists become confused and angry at a speech they're not quite certain what he's saying. "

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" I would have to say loneliness is next to uncleanliness. "

Janeane Garofalo

" Here's what the right-wing has in, there's no shortage of the natural resources of ignorance, apathy, hate, fear. As long as those things are in the collective conscious and unconscious, the Republicans will have some votes. "

Janeane Garofalo

" I have yet to meet very many people in the press who are really, truly interested in writing a good story or getting at the truth. Most press people, when they come into an article, have an angle that they want already, so they need points to support that angle, whatever the angle may be. "

Janeane Garofalo

" I can do most anything and not have a problem with it. The only time I have negative attention is when I run naked through the streets brandishing a handgun. "

Janeane Garofalo

" I think I failed miserably on NewsRadio. I was very nervous because of the caliber of the cast - especially Dave Foley - so I think I did a terrible job. "

Janeane Garofalo

" I actually was class clown, but I don't know how that happened because I've never been considered an outwardly funny person. "

Janeane Garofalo

" I do not enjoy when people don't like me. "

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" The world would be better off with multiple superpowers. When Communist USSR was a superpower, the world was better off. "

Janeane Garofalo

" To me, there is no greater act of courage than being the one who kisses first. "

Janeane Garofalo

" Let's be very honest about what this is about. It's not about bashing Democrats, it's not about taxes, they have no idea what the Boston tea party was about, they don't know their history at all. This is about hating a black man in the White House. This is racism straight up. "

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" The term 'celebrity' makes my skin crawl. "

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" The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth. "

Janeane Garofalo

" I remember the old Times Square from when I was younger, and there was a seedy thrill to it. Some of that is gone, which I have a little bit of nostalgia for. "

Janeane Garofalo

" Is being an idiot like being high all the time? "

Janeane Garofalo

" When Communist U.S.S.R. was a superpower, the world was better off. The right-wing media is trying to marginalize the peace movement. "

Janeane Garofalo