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" I just hope that there's a market for somebody who looks like me as the lead of a rom-com, you know? "

Kumail Nanjiani

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" I have a reward-and-punishment system: If I have done this much work, then I can play video games this long. It gives my day structure. "

Kumail Nanjiani

" TV requires a lot more patience. No one's ever like, 'I gotta get up at 5 A.M. and write my stand-up!' It's an easy life. With 'Silicon Valley,' it's long hours and very unglamorous. "

Kumail Nanjiani

" There was one week where I got mistaken for Hasan Minhaj, who is on 'The Daily Show;' Kunal Nayyar, who's on 'Big Bang Theory;' and Karan Soni of 'Ghostbusters.' This was one week. "

Kumail Nanjiani

" Studio execs were like, ''Lord of the Rings!' People want to see sword-and-dragon-type things!' No, people just want to see great stories. Hollywood always takes the wrong lesson from successes. "

Kumail Nanjiani

" One of my favorite comedies is 'Shaun of the Dead.' "

Kumail Nanjiani

" Stand-up is successful if they laugh. It's unsuccessful if they don't laugh. "

Kumail Nanjiani

" Most people don't really do too many things because they're afraid they'll fail. There are people failing all the time, all around you. And nobody is going to notice your failure. Your failure is not going to be so spectacular that people write news stories about it. Your failure will be boring. "

Kumail Nanjiani

" You really need to have that discipline. It's not even discipline. I just put down these rules. It's not like a vague, 'Motivate yourself!' and do something. It's specific hours set aside every day for certain things. "

Kumail Nanjiani

" I'm still trying to figure out how to have an adult relationship with my parents. "

Kumail Nanjiani

" You can get stuck in the trap of reading your YouTube comments all the time. Sometimes I regret it. Not everyone is going to love you. And for some reason, stand-up has this thing where everyone thinks they can do it. So everyone thinks they're an expert. "

Kumail Nanjiani

" I love, love, love the street-cart food. Gyros are like a meat-flavored fruit roll-up. A meat roll-up. "

Kumail Nanjiani

" Nobody really knows what they're doing. Some are just better at pretending like they do. "

Kumail Nanjiani

" Most of my exposure to American pop culture was through this weird prism of 'Mad' magazine. "

Kumail Nanjiani

" I would say I try to make my comedy really personal. I try to tell stories that happened to me, experiences from my life. "

Kumail Nanjiani

" 'Four Weddings and a Funeral' is one of my favorite movies, and I laugh all the time, and I cry during the one funeral. But I'll say that 'Monsters, Inc.' is a movie that really gets me super-emotional. Especially the ending. "

Kumail Nanjiani

" When generally people make race-based jokes to me - even if they're not technically racist, they're sort of based on me being Pakistani or whatever - on Twitter, you know, I block a lot of people who say something weird about my name or something. It does bug me generally, but it is all about context. "

Kumail Nanjiani

" I don't go, 'It is now time to change Americans' perception of Muslims. It's going to be a long day.' I think you just try to be unique and try to be yourself, and if something good comes of that, then great. "

Kumail Nanjiani

" I know a lot of brown actors who play terrorists because they're physically intimidating. For me, it was like, 'O.K., you'll be the nerd.' So I've played the nerd. I've played food-delivery guys. But I always tried to find something in the characters so that they weren't just defined by what they looked like. "

Kumail Nanjiani

" I never really got into game shows. The easiest one is 'Wheel Of Fortune' because you just have to know words, and for the most part everyone knows words. "

Kumail Nanjiani

" I thought, from watching TV and stuff, that America was one place. They only show you L.A. and New York. They don't warn you about Iowa. "

Kumail Nanjiani

" I loved the Oscars, and I had V.H.S. tapes for the Oscars, and I used to watch them over and over. There was probably one year where I watched it, like, 20 times or something. "

Kumail Nanjiani

" My parents don't really understand my career. They don't really bring it up that much. "

Kumail Nanjiani

" I moved to New York first and was really apprehensive about moving to L.A., but I really, really like it. "

Kumail Nanjiani

" It happens to people. People ruin things they love! I'm sure the guy who played Jar Jar Binks loved 'Star Wars.' "

Kumail Nanjiani

" My parents aren't the demographic for a lot of things I do. If I did a stand-up show, and I saw 62-year-old Pakistanis in the crowd, I'd be like, 'I'm gonna bomb.' "

Kumail Nanjiani

" I know what is funny coming out of my mouth and what is not funny coming out of my mouth. You have to figure out, What is the joke that I can do that nobody else can do? "

Kumail Nanjiani

" In popular culture, there isn't any other conception of Islam and Muslims other than what you see on the news... When you go to a theme park, you see Muslims riding roller coasters and eating ice cream. Why doesn't anybody think of those Muslims when they think of Muslims? "

Kumail Nanjiani

" I used to like to come up with inventions because I hated working so much when I had my day job. I thought, 'All I need is a great idea, and I'm out of here.' "

Kumail Nanjiani

" I remember my jaw would hurt because I wasn't used to speaking English all the time. Like how, even if you exercise, you'll play kickball one day, and then you're like, 'Wait, I run, but new places are hurting because I don't use my muscles this way.' My mouth was not used to making these sounds. "

Kumail Nanjiani

" I stay home. It's the best place to be alone. There is hardly any walk-through traffic. "

Kumail Nanjiani