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" Nobody really knows what they're doing. Some are just better at pretending like they do. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Pretending
Nobody
Like
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" A lot of times, it seems like social media has devolved into people just yelling at each other and not really conversing. "
Kumail Nanjiani
People
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Just
" When I started working on 'Michael And Michael,' it was my life for three to four months, and then suddenly it's gone. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Life
My Life
Working
" I started doing standup because of Hugh Grant's best-man speech in 'Four Weddings,' which is basically a standup routine. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Routine
Started
Doing
" I've always played some version of a nerdy guy or something like that. I mean, one of my story lines on 'Silicon Valley' is that I am very bad with women! "
Kumail Nanjiani
Story
Women
Bad
" The world is getting smaller. And people are bumping up against people from different parts of the world with very different points of view. The challenge of our time is going to be, how do you allow other points of view to exist within what you traditionally see as your world? "
Kumail Nanjiani
Challenge
Time
View
" I used to like to come up with inventions because I hated working so much when I had my day job. I thought, 'All I need is a great idea, and I'm out of here.' "
Kumail Nanjiani
Day
Great
Thought
" I was not a cool kid. There was no reason for me to be marginalised. I was just a nerd. I was kind of weird, and I found solace in video games. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Weird
Video Games
Cool
" I didn't know if I could be funny on stage or write a joke. But I saw that there are no rules. If you're funny offstage, you can figure out a way to be funny onstage. "
Kumail Nanjiani
You
Way
Stage
" Living in Pakistan, you didn't have a sense of how huge and varied America was geographically. I had visited once. I thought of it as this crazy, happy, exciting place where everybody's rich, and there's stuff everywhere. Compared to Pakistan, it's not untrue. Compared to Pakistan, the streets are paved with gold. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Rich
Thought
Happy
" Stand-up is successful if they laugh. It's unsuccessful if they don't laugh. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Laugh
Unsuccessful
Successful
" You really need to have that discipline. It's not even discipline. I just put down these rules. It's not like a vague, 'Motivate yourself!' and do something. It's specific hours set aside every day for certain things. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Day
Rules
Discipline
" My mom told us never to reveal that we were Shia in school. You would find out that some other kid was Shiite, and you would whisper, 'Hey,' or you would see someone at the mosque, and you'd be like, 'Hey, that kid's Shiite!' There was a lot of tension, a lot of violence in Karachi between Shiites and Sunnis. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Violence
School
Mom
" My parents don't really understand my career. They don't really bring it up that much. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Up
Understand
Parents
" I remember my jaw would hurt because I wasn't used to speaking English all the time. Like how, even if you exercise, you'll play kickball one day, and then you're like, 'Wait, I run, but new places are hurting because I don't use my muscles this way.' My mouth was not used to making these sounds. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Run
Exercise
Hurt
" Rom-coms have been one of my favorite genres of movies since I can remember. My favorite movie of all-time is 'Four Weddings and a Funeral,' and then 'When Harry Met Sally,' and 'Annie Hall' is top five. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Movies
Four
Five
" I know what is funny coming out of my mouth and what is not funny coming out of my mouth. You have to figure out, What is the joke that I can do that nobody else can do? "
Kumail Nanjiani
Mouth
Funny
Nobody
" I never decided I wanted to be an actor. I just started doing standup because I love standup. Everything else has sort of been these tiny steps leading to this. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Doing
Never
Love
" I loved the Oscars, and I had V.H.S. tapes for the Oscars, and I used to watch them over and over. There was probably one year where I watched it, like, 20 times or something. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Year
Loved
Over
" If you do a sketch, that's a very short narrative. Stand-up, it's bit-to-bit, minute-long narratives. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Sketch
Short
Narrative
" You just don't see Muslims being matter-of-fact Muslim. They're always defined by their Muslim-ness. We're either terrorists, or we're fighting terrorists. I remember seeing 'True Lies' and going, 'Why are we always the bad guys?' "
Kumail Nanjiani
See
Bad
Remember
" I still don't have a real appreciation for music because I didn't really start listening to it until my 20s. My wife knows everything about music, and I try and get her to educate me, but it's just not part of my DNA. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Appreciation
Listening
Me
" My parents aren't the demographic for a lot of things I do. If I did a stand-up show, and I saw 62-year-old Pakistanis in the crowd, I'd be like, 'I'm gonna bomb.' "
Kumail Nanjiani
Parents
Lot
Like
" My favorite writer on 'The X-Files' is this guy Darin Morgan. He wrote my favorite episode and the top five favorite episodes that everyone loves. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Everyone
Favorite
Guy
" Wikipedia is kind of weird. I feel it's lame to put up my own page, but I desperately want someone else to do it. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Someone
Kind
Feel
" I think, you know, a lot of the business of comedy is taking your personal experiences and making them relatable to other people. "
Kumail Nanjiani
People
Know
You
" Studio execs were like, ''Lord of the Rings!' People want to see sword-and-dragon-type things!' No, people just want to see great stories. Hollywood always takes the wrong lesson from successes. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Hollywood
Want
People
" I stay home. It's the best place to be alone. There is hardly any walk-through traffic. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Traffic
Home
Best
" I'm still trying to figure out how to have an adult relationship with my parents. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Relationship
Parents
Out
" I don't want to generalize, but the target audience for a lot of the YouTube people is fairly young - under the age of 16. You still want to know what those people are watching, because I think it's interesting, but sometimes it just makes you feel old. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Interesting
Think
People
" I'd love to be in action movies. I've been trying to convince people. I don't think it's anything physical holding me back. I think it's a general vibe thing that's holding me back. I don't project action confidence, maybe. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Confidence
Love
Me