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" I liked Rebecca Black's 'Friday.' "

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" I'm a married gay man, so you might think that I appreciate the government forcing a Christian baker or photographer or florist to act against their religion in order to cater, photograph, or decorate my wedding. But you'd be wrong. A government that can force Christians to violate their conscience can force me to violate mine. "

" Even though standup seems like one-way conversation, if you're doing it right, it's actually a two-way discussion between the comic and the audience... the audience just happens to be communicating through laughter. "

" Just by existing as men, we are automatically guilty of everything in some people's minds. And, on top of that, we've created a situation in the media where men are only allowed to talk about politics and sport. "

" Prohibiting any words not approved of as 'politically correct' - that's not progressive. Putting 'trigger warnings' on books, movies, music, anything that might offend people - that's not progressive, either. "

" I firmly believe in individual liberty more than anything else. And that you have to live the life you want for yourself. "

" I'm not even proud to say this, but I've never voted for a Republican in my entire life. "

" I spent too many years of my life stressing over and struggling with my sexuality. But it was a valuable lesson. I realised that by not sharing how you feel, you become inhibited in every facet of life. "

" The Right, much more than the Left, believes in the notion of live and let live, and that is the true definition of tolerance. "

" Sadly, the Left is no longer liberal at all, for it has traded in individualism for collectivism, thus placing us into an oppression Olympics where victimhood is a virtue. This post-modernism - this cultural Marxism or whatever you want to call it - can only destroy; it cannot create. "

" You can Google me, and I'm pretty sure the first thing that comes up is 'gay,' so that's out there, and I'm proud of that. "

" The whole point of real comedy is that you can say something that is true, and by being funny, you can make it tolerable for people, and hopefully they'll laugh at you, too. "

" I think the media has portrayed conservatives as these cold, heartless people who want poor people to die and let half the population starve and all this. They've done that so effectively because they've owned the narrative for so long. "

" I believe the regressive Left - the group of people who use illiberal tactics to silence those defending liberal principles - to be the Left's version of the Tea Party. "

" Do you know people on the Right who are tolerant of people who are for gay marriage and are pro-choice? I actually do, plenty of them. When there is a disagreement, I see way more people on the Right... more often willing to agree to disagree rather than to de-friend or to smear. "

" If you took one of these One Direction kids, because they basically are kids, my guess is one of them is gay. "

" It's not about whether we should have a conservative or a liberal. It's about, do we have someone that has the mental acumen to understand what the laws are, and not write laws but defend the laws. That's the whole purpose of three branches of government. "

" It really is this: you are either for liberty, you're for freedom, and you're for living how you want to live without infringing and impugning on anyone else's rights, or you want the state to deal with everything. "

" Instead of silencing speakers on campus, perhaps do what you're supposed to in college instead: listen to someone who thinks differently than you do. "

" People are going to say mean things to you. They're going to say things that upset you. They're going to lie to you. They're going to lie about you. You'll survive. "

" I don't like Mitt Romney. I wouldn't vote for Mitt Romney in a million years. Mitt Romney is no ally of the gay community. "

" People who are for diversity of thought, actually, are okay with hearing some opinions that they don't like. I quite literally see none of that on the Left. "

" The regressive Left ranks minority groups in a pecking order to compete in a kind of 'Oppression Olympics.' Gold medal goes to the most offended. "

" I remember thinking Democrats and liberals were the good guys. They cared about the little guy. They cared about poor people. They cared about minorities. "

" As a comedian, frankly, I don't care that much about bad jokes. "

" The terms 'progressive' and 'liberal' have virtually nothing to do with each other anymore. And if you are a classical liberal, you certainly aren't a leftist. "

" I would rather stand for what I believe in than bow down and be loved. "

" Think about your friends on the Left - are they tolerant of people who aren't for gay marriage? Or of people who are pro-life? These used to be just political differences, and now they are a referendum on what type of person you are and whether you can be in someone's life at all. "

" I think we're innately good. But it doesn't mean we're gonna do good all the time. It means you have to strive. "

" Seriously, we all need to get over being offended every time someone says something you don't agree with. Guess what? That's life. And I'd rather have that life any day than only hear from people who agree with me. "

" Cable news is force-feeding you an endless back and forth of pundits who consistently get everything wrong, while at the same time, they mask their opinions as facts and argue about the endless minutia of a broken Washington, D.C., instead of arming you with real knowledge and new ideas. "