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" I might be needy, competitive and desperate but it's far better than being wet. "
Jenny Eclair
Desperate
Far
Competitive
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" After graduating from flares and platforms in the early 1970s, I started drama school wearing a pair of khaki dungarees with one of my Dad's Army shirts, accessorised by a cat's basket doubling as a handbag. Very Lady Gaga. "
Jenny Eclair
Cat
Army
Drama
" I am very short-sighted, and if I don't like a situation I take my glasses off. "
Jenny Eclair
Like
Am
Situation
" I'm the least spiritual person in the world. I can't even abide a smelly candle. I know it's meant to make me relax, and that immediately makes my hackles rise. "
Jenny Eclair
Relax
Me
Candle
" I wouldn't say I was grumpy. It's more pathological - I have seismic tantrums. I get red in the face and cry at least three times a week, and I have to lie down and have a nap afterwards. "
Jenny Eclair
Week
Three
Cry
" I don't do marriage. I think it's incredibly naff. And I don't like vulgar displays of ostentation. "
Jenny Eclair
Think
Marriage
Like
" Anyone who has dead straight hair wants curls. "
Jenny Eclair
Wants
Who
Curls
" I'm a schizophrenic mix of wannabe glamourpuss and absolute slob, and my style is very much magistrate-meets-barmaid. "
Jenny Eclair
Style
Very
Schizophrenic
" A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. "
Jenny Eclair
Will
Laughter
Good
" I'm very jealous of my daughter's education. She's been inspired by her teachers, and nobody inspired me as a teenager. "
Jenny Eclair
Daughter
Jealous
Education
" I think as time goes by you'll get female comics who are weirder - you'll get a female Mighty Boosh. "
Jenny Eclair
Time
You
Mighty
" My daughter has always had a strong sense of her own identity. From the day she was born her father and I were in love with and in awe of her and still are. "
Jenny Eclair
Day
Daughter
Father
" Moderation is never something I've been good at. "
Jenny Eclair
Something
Good
Moderation
" I have a fear of poverty in old age. I have this vision of myself living in a skip and eating cat food. It's because I'm freelance, and I've never had a proper job. I don't have a pension, and my savings are dwindling. I always thought someone would just come along and look after me. "
Jenny Eclair
Vision
Job
Age
" I can eat a man, but I'm not sure of the fiber content. "
Jenny Eclair
Content
Sure
Man
" I think my siblings sometimes have to defend me within their social circles - they are both barristers. "
Jenny Eclair
Defend
Within
Think
" I love fashion, but I don't come from a background of loving clothes, and I remember feeling badly dressed from a young age. "
Jenny Eclair
Clothes
Remember
Love
" I think I might actually die of showing off. It'll be on my headstone - 'Cause of Death: Showing Off.' "
Jenny Eclair
Off
Think
I Think
" There should be more booing in shops and restaurants and places like that when when the service is bad. If you've had a poor breakfast in a hotel, you should put your knife and fork down and boo. "
Jenny Eclair
Breakfast
You
Bad
" I prefer highs and lows to an even keel. Moderation is never something I've been good at. "
Jenny Eclair
Something
Been
Never
" I've got this horrible feeling that I'm one of those people who'll always have to flog their guts out to get anywhere. "
Jenny Eclair
Horrible
People
Got
" If I do go to the beach there have to be certain rules: it can't be a pebbly beach, there has to be some shade and there has to be a beach bar. I don't want to go off the beaten track. "
Jenny Eclair
Want
Beach
Shade
" As a rule, wearing a bigger pair of jeans looks better than squishing yourself into a pair of jeans that used to fit before you gave up smoking. "
Jenny Eclair
Looks
You
Yourself
" I admire the Elsie Tanners and Barbara Windsors of the world: people who have crawled back from the abyss. I'm quite camp in that respect. "
Jenny Eclair
Respect
World
People
" My older sister is bossy, my brother is a stirrer and me - well, I am perfect! "
Jenny Eclair
Perfect
Brother
I Am