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" I never weigh myself, but the brutal truth of television is that they don't employ old people or fat people. "

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" Like any working mother I find it hard to have a social life. But my kids are so well adjusted. There isn't a brat bone in their body so I haven't done anything that bad. "

" I can't do anything too serious like Saddam Hussein, but I would like to do Bill Clinton. That'd be fun. "

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" I've told so many lies about my age I don't know how old I am myself. "

" I knew nothing about football, then someone showed me a film of Petit and I realised how interesting the game could be. He is divine. When I met him I could barely speak, he was so gorgeous. Women will love that show. "

" You have to be great friends and make each other laugh. We laugh a lot and neither is jealous of the other. "

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" I'm a misplaced American, but don't know where I was misplaced. "