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" I remembered, like, when 'Not When My Daughter' came out, I'm serious, I think dating for Iranian men became a lot harder. Dude's name, Shahrokh - became Tony. Mehsud became Mike. "
Maz Jobrani
Men
Like
Daughter
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" Every time I see Trump on TV these days, I'm waiting for him to burst out, 'Live from New York, it's Saturday Night!' That would make sense to me - that this has all been one long 'Saturday Night Live' sketch. "
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" I've been dating since I was fifteen. I'm exhausted. Where is he? "
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" At the time that I knew them, they were not living together. They began dating again after their divorce, so I didn't really see fighting. "
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" Anyone who's gotten their passport in America will tell you, when you get it, it still says what country you were born in. So I remember getting my American passport. I was like, 'Woo-hoo! I'm going to travel.' And I opened it up. It said, 'Born in Iran.' I'm like, 'Oh, come on, man!' "
Maz Jobrani
America
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" It's ironic, really. Guys should be excited that I got Kristen Bell. If Brad Pitt gets Kristen Bell, it's like, 'Well, of course he did.' With me, it should be, 'Oh good, a normal-looking guy got her. Maybe I'll get me a Kristen Bell.' But guys hate my guts for always dating women I have no right to be with. "
Dax Shepard
Always
Me
Hate
" Dating is just awkward moments and one person wants more than the other. It's just that constant strangeness. I think it's a very real thing. "
Jason Schwartzman
Moments
Person
Real
" The prospect of dating someone in her twenties becomes less appealing as you get older. At some point in your life, your tolerance level goes down and you realize that, with someone much younger, there's nothing really to talk about. "
Clint Eastwood
You
Tolerance
Talk
" Some women flirt more with what they say, and some with what they do. "
Anna Held
Dating
More
Women
" Oh, my dating skills are the worst. No, I pick the wrong men; it's amazing. I am awful, the worst dater. "
Paget Brewster
Men
Skills
Pick
" I used to be a real prince charming if I went on a date with a girl. But then I'd get to where I was likely to have a stroke from the stress of keeping up my act. I've since learned the key to a good date is to pay attention on her. "
Matthew Perry
Attention
Girl
Stress
" One of the first memories I have, we went to - actually, we stopped in New York for a little bit, and I remember going to Macy's with my mom. And I was a big fan of the color orange, and they had Snoopy orange gloves, hat and scarves. And I bought it, and it was the best thing ever. I loved America right there. That was it. "
Maz Jobrani
Best
Mom
Memories
" I'm in love with love and totally believe in marriage, but that's not even on my radar right now. I am not putting energy into dating. "
Selena Gomez
Marriage
Am
Dating
" You know the Middle East is going crazy when Lebanon is the most peaceful place in the region. "
Maz Jobrani
You
Peaceful
Know
" I'm finally dating. It's fun. "
Kristin Chenoweth
Fun
Finally
Dating
" I want to start dating the man that I'm gonna marry. I want to start having some fun with someone that I know I'm gonna be with. I don't play any games. I'm too old for that. I've been there; I've been around the block. "
LisaRaye McCoy-Misick
Fun
Dating
Know
" I don't know why anyone would want to ask an actor for dating advice. We are not the poster children for healthy relationships. "
Ginnifer Goodwin
Advice
Know
Children
" Whenever you have an ex, and they're like, 'I hope we can still be friends!' and you weren't friends before you started dating, then what do you go back to, really? "
Ed Sheeran
Friends
Dating
You
" I don't consider myself an Iranian comedian; I consider myself a comedian who happens to be of Iranian descent. "
Maz Jobrani
Happens
Comedian
Consider
" I fantasize about going back to high school with the knowledge I have now. I would shine. I would have a good time, I would have a girlfriend. I think that's where a lot of my pain comes from. I think I never had any teenage years to go back to. "
Spalding Gray
Knowledge
Time
School
" I've made enough jokes about Iran's leadership that I'm sure if I showed up that I would get a nice escort - to the main prison - and then I could do a show there. "
Maz Jobrani
Nice
Enough
Jokes
" My boyfriend calls me 'princess', but I think of myself more along the lines of 'monkey' and 'retard'. "
Alicia Silverstone
Dating
Princess
Think
" I was at UC Berkeley as an undergrad when my father lost a lot of money in real estate investments in Northern California. He wanted a change of pace, so in the early '90s, my family moved to L.A., right in the middle of Tehrangeles. It was a culture shock for me. "
Maz Jobrani
Father
Change
Culture
" My mother was very wary at first. And now she's come around 180 degrees. She's, like, one of my biggest fans now. Like, she'll come over to my house, and she'll be like, 'OK, listen. I need two T-shirts from the comedy show, and give me three DVDs. The neighbors are asking for them.' "
Maz Jobrani
Me
She
Comedy
" I've had a little bad, bad media luck the new year. Well, apparently I'm dating Bill Clinton, which makes me nervous. I didn't know, though. "
Julie Bowen
Media
Bad
Dating
" With the release of her fourth album, 'Red,' in 2012 and a handful of highly publicized romances, Taylor was criticized by the press and other entertainers for such sinful acts as dating people and writing songs about it, gaining a reputation as boy-crazy and love-ridden. "
Tavi Gevinson
Red
Writing
People
" I have no wisdom to share on dating. "
Rachel Dratch
Share
Dating
Wisdom
" I'd got to that age when I was out on a date with a guy and I would be thinking: Don't mention your age, don't mention that you want a child - because they would just run out the door. "
Denise Van Outen
Thinking
Dating
Run
" I knew a ton of actors and was friends with them, but I never dated actresses. I tried to date 'normal' people because the Hollywood dating rule is 'one star per couple' because it's quite a challenge to match the egos of two actors. "
Zach Galligan
Challenge
Friends
People
" We sold OkCupid to Match in January of 2011. In September of 2012, I became CEO of all of Match, which is the operating segment of IAC that contains all of the dating properties. "
Sam Yagan
CEO
January
Match
" I have very little experience with dating websites. My feeling toward dating websites is what most people's is: If it works, great. If you're serious and legitimate about it and know what you're looking for, then from what I hear, it's definitely effective. "
Nev Schulman
Experience
Dating
Great