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" I think narcissists are endlessly watchable. The way they view the world and the way they interact within the world. "

Michael Showalter

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" I like the comedians that go into detail and tell longer stories. "

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" I think comedians see themselves as people among people. "

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" I've always balked at anything that feels like a clique, even if it's not always in my best interest to do so. I like each individual, fedora-wearing hipster - it's just the greater gestalt that rubs me the wrong way. "

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" I'm not big on fat jokes. That's a little beneath me. I'm not a huge fan of making a joke - and as I say this, I'm sure I do it - completely at someone else's expense. "

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" I tend to a lot of improvisational ranting, and that's fun. For me, stand-up has been, performance-wise, a really good outlet. "

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" Many fans don't have the leisure time to track my every word. They're too busy brainstorming solutions to the economic crisis and winning Pulitzers. "

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" I went to college thinking of maybe pursuing a career in film criticism. "

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" A lot of my humor centers on the act of telling jokes and I think this can prevent certain audiences from suspending their feeling of disbelief. It might piss a few people off, but I can't help it. "

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" In real life, comedians aren't funny. "

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" I'm not sure why I like cats so much. I mean, they're really cute obviously. They are both wild and domestic at the same time. "

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" You really have no idea whether or not what you're writing is funny. In stand-up and sketch comedy, you know right away and you can make your changes accordingly. "

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" There are comedians that I like. I think a lot of it, you just figure out on your own. It's definitely one of those things that you get good at by doing it a lot. But I like Jim Gaffigan. Patton Oswalt. Janeane Garofalo. "

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" Given the current state of publishing, I think it helps to have a brand name on the cover of your book. Comedians are proven commodities with built-in audiences. They may not have the writing chops of a Dave Eggers, but they're salacious and funny and self-reflective. "

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" Cats aren't cooperative in the same way that other animals are. You can train a dog to act, but you can't train a cat in the same way. "

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" I knew that if I was going to write a book, I was going to have to read one, too. "

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