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" I was always a fan of Groucho Marx as a kid. "

Michael Feldman

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" The average married man lives two thousand and five days longer than his single counterpart, albeit with less reason. "

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" I've always admired the kind of guy who moves into a place and restores it. Thanks to my efforts, the guy who moves into mine will have a chance to do just that. "

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" When I was a kid, I hated being talked to as a kid. I don't know if all kids feel that way, but I seem to remember awful things in the crib, something like people doing baby talk in the crib and sticking their big, fat faces in there and scaring me. So I always talk to kids as if they were a person. "

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" It's not just dead men who tell no tales. Live ones don't have much to say for themselves, either. "

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" I was the class innuendist. "

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" I really like Wisconsin. I enjoy it. I enjoy the people. I enjoy the fact that it's not L.A. or New York. And there's some sense of normalcy here - people having children in homes they can somewhat afford to live in. "

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" I tell people my only successful long-term relationship was with Jim Packard. He was my rock. I didn't realize how codependent I was. "

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" The goal for me has always been to learn how to express myself in radio and to have fun doing it and work with whatever contingencies arise. "

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