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" I would only read the novels that people classify as 'beach books' if I were being held prisoner and the only alternative was the 'Book of Mormon.' "

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" When they tell you to grow up, they mean stop growing. "

" I have always been a romantic, one of those people who believes that a woman in pink circus tights contains all the secrets of the universe. "

" We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love. "

" A writer needs a life of introspection. "

" One of my books is a hallucinogen, an aphrodisiac, a mood elevator, an intellectual garage door opener, and a metaphysical trash compactor. They'll do everything except rotate your tires. "

" To achieve the impossible; it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought. "

" The brutal truth is, we're scarcely 'educating' children at all. Even if you overlook the guilt, fear, bigotry, and dangerous anti-intellectual flapdoodle being funneled into young brains by schools on the religious right, what we're doing is training kids to be cogs in the wheels of commerce. "

" Our greatest human adventure is the evolution of consciousness. We are in this life to enlarge the soul, liberate the spirit, and light up the brain. "

" The ultimate end of any ideology is totalitarianism. "

Totalitarianism

" I think science has begun to demonstrate that aging is a disease. If it is, it can be cured. "

" I show up in my writing room at approximately 10 A.M. every morning without fail. Sometimes my muse sees fit to join me there and sometimes she doesn't, but she always knows where I'll be. She doesn't need to go hunting in the taverns or on the beach or drag the boulevard looking for me. "

" Wit and playfulness represent a desperately serious transcendence of evil. Humor is both a form of wisdom and a means of survival. "

" Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business. "

" What bothers most critics of my work is the goofiness. One reviewer said I need to make up my mind if want to be funny or serious. My response is that I will make up my mind when God does, because life is a commingling of the sacred and the profane, good and evil. To try and separate them is fallacy. "

" There are many things worth living for, a few things worth dying for, and nothing worth killing for. "

" A lot of my work comes from what in Asia is called the 'mind of wonder.' There is not a lot of 'mind of wonder' writing in contemporary Western literature. I think that's what appeals to the readers who are my fans. "

" Well, I have never, ever Googled myself. "

" When I sit down to write, I just let the goose out of the bottle. "

" The highest function of love is that it makes the loved one a unique and irreplacable being. "

" If it is committed in the name of God or country, there is no crime so heinous that the public will not forgive it. "

" I have never ever Googled myself; in fact I think the Christian right prohibits such things. "

" Transformation, liberation and celebration are the themes of all my novels. "

" In order to be respected, authority has got to be respectable. "

" If little else, the brain is an educational toy. "

" Most novelists write about twisted lives. "

" John Irving once told me he doesn't start a novel until he knows the last sentence. I said, 'My God, Irving, isn't that like working in a factory?' "

" I went to a large consolidated school in Appalachia. And I wrote the story when I was in the second grade and I took it up to the third floor to the school newspaper office that was written and edited by juniors and seniors. "

" There are stories still in existence that I wrote when I was five. However, I did not get published until I was seven. "

" At the typewriter you find out who you are. "

" The gods have chosen to entertain me with chronic eyestrain headaches. Very poisonous episodes. So I don't do a lot of reading anymore except on tape. "