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" I'd get scripts and think: 'What's the point of this?' "

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" Chris Guest movies are funny. "

" To make extra money, my parents would sell eggs and chickens. I was very little. I remember a chicken's head being chopped off with the chicken running around. I wasn't sure if my imagination was running away with me or if it really happened. It really happened. "

" Colbert makes me crazy: he's so funny. Plus, he seems like an extraordinarily decent dude. "

" Guys who go on and on about loving women usually don't. "

" You don't get bored with stuff like 'Birdman.' "

" I was so gullible as a kid. "

" I watch 'Morning Joe' occasionally. I used to watch a lot more than I do now, but I watched it, and all of a sudden, there was this love fest, for crying out loud - this inexplicable love fest one morning - for The Donald. "

" Sometimes I do movies that aren't any good, or sometimes I might not be any good in them, or sometimes they don't do very well. "

" Show business is, essentially, a fear-based industry. "

" I remember my mom threatening me, half-serious: 'You know what? I should take you to Pittsburgh and put you in dance lessons just to keep you occupied.' Well, that brought everything to a screeching halt. 'Jeeze, dance lessons.' In retrospect, it would have been awesome, but then, 'Ugh, dancing - dancing's for sissies.' "

" I went through a lazy period. "

" Technology, you know. I'm pretty horrible. I use it, but mostly I like to view it from afar. But I'm still fascinated by it. "

" I'm usually pretty good in front of a live audience. I usually like that. "

" There are very few jobs where you're held up to public scrutiny. "

" Have I ever been to a party with a ton of famous people in it? Yes, several times, so I guess that's a Hollywood lifestyle. "

" If you're a dope like me, you get every sports channel you can get. I'm watching, you know, Netherlands soccer. "

" Leaving a lot of movie sets, I've gone home and said, 'How come my hands are clean?' I should finish something and go home with dirt in my fingernails, because then you really feel that you've done something. "

" I had a real strong fantasy life as a kid. But then you grow up and think about real jobs. "

" I think one reason I really like women and like working with women is because of my sisters. "

" If I didn't do 'Batman,' 'Birdman' wouldn't have happened. "

" One thing my mother had a nose for was inauthenticity. "

" In the household in which I was raised, the themes were pretty simple. 'Work hard. Don't quit. Be appreciative, be thankful, be grateful, be respectful. Also, never whine, never complain. And always, for crying out loud, keep a sense of humor.' "

" I don't think there's anybody better than Leonardo DiCaprio, and I've been saying that since before anyone knew who he was. "

" The first feature film I did, when I did 'Night Shift,' I improvised quite a bit because I would improvise at the audition, so sometimes I would return to the original lines, and then when I was on set, I would improvise even more. "

" I took my play very seriously, and I got way, way lost in my play world. "

" I'm just shocked at how blatantly shallow people are sometimes. "

" We had four guys in the family, so somebody was always hitting somebody or chasing somebody or getting mad or fighting or wrestling - that was just what you did. So when you're the youngest, it's good for you. You figure out real early how to get out of headlocks and holds. "

" In high school, I was too shy to perform. It's one thing to get laughs from your family, to be funny at parties and in class. It's another thing to get up on the stage. "

" I played a lot of sports when I was a kid so I get in that ballgame mindset of being really, really respectful, but at same time saying to yourself, 'Don't back down a single inch, hang with these guys if you can.' If they throw it high and tight you have to stand in there, you can't take yourself out of that moment. "

" I always think that I'm not going to be right for a movie or that there's someone else who can do it better. "