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" If every play was three weeks, I'd do lots of plays. It's just the idea of six months, I think, that might drive me a bit nuts. "

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" I always admire the French and the Italians who are very devoted to their marriages. They take them extremely seriously, but it is understood that there might be other visitors at 5 o'clock in the afternoon. You just never boast about. They never say anything, but that's what keeps marriages together. "

" I think marriage is only necessary if you've got children. It's quite nice for them. "

" Women are frightening. If you get to 41 as a man, you're quite battle-scarred. "

" Although I'm largely doing other things in life, it's very nice occasionally to put my toe back in the waters of show business. "

" But when you're a celebrity, you discover that you're no longer the pursuer, but the one being pursued. That's one of the disappointments I have had since becoming a single man. "

" Japanese women have always loved my films, even when no one else did. Ever since I made 'Maurice' in the 1980s, I've been getting hundreds of letter from Japanese girls. They definitely have a special place in my heart. "

" Strangely enough I'm better on a stage. I love that I feel like I blossom in front of a whole bunch of people. "

" I'm quite jealous of my Scottish relations, in whose culture everyone, in a Jane Austen kind of way, got married very young, when you're too young to be cynical or jaded and just started having children. "

" I look at life and I see some very happy relationships, but I also see the vast majority as not being that happy. "

" Plus, teaching brings home to you very fast that you actually know nothing. I didn't realize that before. "

" I used to dream about Gorbachev before he lost power. I'd go into a panic because I was meeting him, and I had nothing to wear. I'd ask my brother what to do, and he'd tell me to wear my dressing gown. I'd tell him I can't - it's too horrible. He'd tell me to wear his as well. So I'd meet Gorbachev wearing two dressing gowns. "

" I'm a great believer in eccentrically-shaped modern families. Because I've seen them work so well. And as long as everyone loves each other, it can work very well. "

" I think there's something unromantic about marriage. You're closing yourself off. "

" I had a kiss with Raquel Welch's daughter - she was a very naughty kisser. "

" At my school, which was all boys, I played almost exclusively lady parts. When I say lady parts, I mean parts that were ladies. To actually play lady parts would be weird, even by English standards. "

" I find it hard to understand why Scorsese has never called. You know, given the natural menace I bring to the screen. "

" I dreaded the dance scene in 'Love Actually' more than having my teeth extracted. "

" I have no doubt that I'd be a marvelous father. Maybe not when they're tiny, but when they're a little bit older, I think I'd be rather good. "

" The emphasis in 'Notting Hill' was perhaps, I thought, slightly more on the romance than on the comedy. But I think 'Mickey Blue Eyes' is maybe slightly more on the comedy. And the tone on 'Mickey Blue Eyes,' it's a far sillier film. "

" I certainly hated actors and, more importantly, they hated me. "

" For a few years, I thought I was putting show business behind me. I was busy doing other things in life, particularly with politics. I was not out looking for films, really. I lost interest. "

" I don't think there's much point in putting me a deep, dark, heavy, emotional film because there are people who do it so much better than I do. "

" The moral of filmmaking in Britain is that you will be screwed by the weather. "

" There were various turning points, but the main one at the beginning was that I was going off to do another degree in the history of art. I would have ended up as some art historian at Sotheby's or something. "

" Well, you know I have an office, my film offices. So I know that syndrome. I fancy offices, so there must be something wrong with me. Even the window cleaner intrigues me. It's a very sexy environment. "

" My mother was a teacher. "

" I've driven people mad on films that I've made - I want more takes; I want to try new lines. Then I want to interfere in the editing process, and I want to interfere in the advertising process - everything, everything. Pretty much Barbra Streisand in trousers, I am! "

" I used to pre-rehearse everything and then bring my pre-rehearsed performance to the set. Now, I'm learning to let it happen in the moment. American actors are much better at that than British actors. If I knew how to trust myself, I would have been much more relaxed. "

" My laziness is really profound. I'm really interested in where it comes from - it almost feels chemical. And we've all got ADD now, short attention span and all that. "

" I think maybe in a way it gets worse because you come in with a real reputation and they've paid you lots of money and all that. "