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" If I could marry my motorcycle, I'd roll her right up to the altar. "

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" The secret of my success with Geraldine is that she's not a putdown of women. She's smart, she's trustful, she's loyal, she's sassy. "

" Funny is not a color. Being black is only good from the time you get from the curtain to the microphone. "

" I've had all that you could ask for. The fat lady has sung, and there's a standing ovation. "

" I have my outlet for my humor through my characters, and I also have the intimacy of rapport with my fans that allows me to explain my philosophy and spirituality. "

" It's later than it's ever been. "

" I told CBS, 'My career is going down the toilet, and you're pulling the chain.' "

" Things can be funny only when we are in fun. When we're 'dead earnest,' humor is the only thing that is dead. "

" Variety shows didn't disappear; it was the caliber of the artists, the classic vaudevillians that have passed on. They are gone, so there's a different caliber performer that's come along that hasn't had the time to work in the small clubs and get the experience. "

" I study a lot of philosophy. I want to be an example of how to enjoy this success, and that's exactly what I've done. I've enjoyed every moment. "

" After having seen the job done on that first show of mine, I realized that I felt like I wanted to work again for a short while. Two, three years, then stop. "

" I think Mr. Wilson will have to be the rest of the way alone. "

" The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down. "

" It would be ridiculous for me to say anything negative regarding blacks having an equal opportunity on TV. "

" My main point is to be funny; if I can slip a message in there, fine. "

" My show is my statement. What I have to say is on the screen. My life is my own. I don't want to talk about my private self. Why should I? "

" My happiest memory of childhood was my first birthday in reform school. This teacher took an interest in me. In fact, he gave me the first birthday presents I ever got: a box of Cracker Jacks and a can of ABC shoe polish. "

" I accomplished what I set out to do. I wanted the whole cookie, and I got it. Now I want to spend more time with my children - make sure they don't go through what I did. "

" Funny is an attitude. "

" When you're hot, you're hot; when you're not, you're not. "

" I have the bug again. I'm expecting the response to seeing the show again on Nick to be very good, and this will set the groundwork for what I want to do. "

" Violence is a tool of the ignorant. "

" A show hosted by a black had never been accepted, so the first time that knob's turned on, people are judging against all they have ever been taught. I may have been the first black in the house. "

" I was number one in the ratings four times last year and twice this season. What could be more damn equal than that? If they get any more equal, I don't want it. "

" You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put a few nickels in the machine. "

" The devil made me do it. "

" Most drag impersonations are a drag. But women can like Geraldine, men can like Geraldine, everyone can like Geraldine. "

" Don't order one for the road, because the road is already laid out. "

" Everyone in this house and the houses next door knows when I'm in the sauna because I start singing, and I sing the blues when I'm in a really good mood. I have a really loud voice, you know. "

" Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun. "