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" If I had my way everyone would have a psychiatrist. When the brain is sick and you must throw up, you do it by being purged in a psychiatrist's office. "

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" I never go to funerals. To me a person is dead when he breathes for the last time. After that, your memories should be personal. "

" Lawyers know how to take isolated complaints in a divorce case and build them into one big one. "

" Some men like a dull life - they like the routine of eating breakfast, going to work, coming home, petting the dog, watching TV, kissing the kids, and going to bed. Stay clear of it - it's often catching. "

" I don't have any gnawing guilt over contributing to any unhappiness suffered by my husbands. They were as much to blame as I was. "

" Jack Kennedy always said to me, Hedy, get involved. That's the secret of life. Try everything. Join everything. Meet everybody. "

" I advise everybody not to save: spend your money. Most people save all their lives and leave it to somebody else. Money is to be enjoyed. "

" I have always felt that if a man gives you a solid gold key to his door he is entitled to the courtesy of a visit. "

" I don't believe in life after death. But I do believe in some grinding destiny that watches over us on earth. If I didn't, the safety valve would give and the boiler would explode. "

" All a woman needs is a good bath, clean clothes, and for her hair to be combed. These things she can do herself. I very seldom go to the hairdresser, but when I do, I just marvel. "

" The ladder of success in Hollywood is usually a press agent, actor, director, producer, leading man; and you are a star if you sleep with each of them in that order. Crude, but true. "

" Analysis gave me great freedom of emotions and fantastic confidence. I felt I had served my time as a puppet. "

" I am a very good shot. I have hunted for every kind of animal. But I would never kill an animal during mating season. "

" I know when I'm working I seldom get into trouble. My educated guess is that boredom has caused most of the problems with Hollywood celebrities. "

" One of my favorite people is Gypsy Rose Lee. She bears out the Biblical promise that he who has, gets. And I hope she gets a lot more. "

" It is easier for women to succeed in business, the arts, and politics in America than in Europe. "

" My mother always called me an ugly weed, so I never was aware of anything until I was older. Plain girls should have someone telling them they are beautiful. Sometimes this works miracles. "

" Perhaps my problem in marriage - and it is the problem of many women - was to want both intimacy and independence. It is a difficult line to walk, yet both needs are important to a marriage. "

" Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid. "

" I enjoy countless hundreds pursuing me. I love those who love me the most. I am sort of flattered by men showing attention to me. "

" I've been an important star and lived a full life, yet I only hve three close friends. I guess that's all anyone can expect. "

" I appreciate subtlety. I have never enjoyed a kiss in front of the camera. There's nothing to it except not getting your lipstick smeared. "

" Experts always know everything but the fine points. When I took my citizenship exams, no one there knew how the White House came to be called the White House. "

" I often talked to Bing Crosby, and while I liked him, I never understood why he was so popular. To me his voice was just a gimmick. "

" Dates with actors, finally, just seemed to me evenings of shop talk. I got sick of it after a hile. So the more famous I became, the more I narrowed down my choices. "

" American men, as a group, seem to be interested in only two things, money and breasts. It seems a very narrow outlook. "

" I am not ashamed to say that no man I ever met was my father's equal, and I never loved any other man as much. "

" I don't fear death because I don't fear anything I don't understand. When I start to think about it, I order a massage and it goes away. "

" Men are most virile and most attractive between the ages of 35 and 55. Under 35 a man has too much to learn, and I don't have time to teach him. "

" If you use your imagination, you can look at any actress and see her nude... I hope to make you use your imagination. "

" Many people are target people. Once when Louis B. Mayer insulted me I poured a glass of water over his head. "