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" If I see something sagging, bagging or dragging I'll get it nipped, tucked or sucked. "

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" A lot of people think I'm a comedian. "

" When I was with Andy Warhol, I thought, 'God, his wig looks cheaper than mine!' "

" Someone once asked me, 'How long does it take to do your hair.' I said, 'I don't know, I'm never there.' "

" People make jokes about my bosoms, why don't they look underneath the breasts at the heart? It's obvious I've got big ones and if people want to assume they're not mine, then let them. "

" I don't like to get involved in things that I am not familiar with. I'm kind of a hands-on type of person. "

" I'm old enough and cranky enough now that if someone tried to tell me what to do, I'd tell them where to put it. "

" We're all just a bunch of sinners, but we do the best we can. "

" I used to always sit in church looking out the windows at the boys, wondering if I could make an excuse to go out and, you know, go to the bathroom because all the outdoor toilets. But anyhow, I was only going out to see the boys. "

" Energy begets energy. "

" I'm very short, so I just have to watch my weight because I have a big appetite. "

" Every time I come to Europe, I'm just as excited as I was my very first time, which was many, many years ago. I love that part of the world, and I especially love the fans. "

" When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of being a star. I didn't really know what all that meant. I didn't know. "

" I usually get up at 3 A.M. I don't require a lot of sleep, and if I get tired, I'll take a powernap during the day. "

" I'm a singer, a writer and an actress - when I find something that I feel good enough about doing. "

" I love being busy. "

" My weaknesses have always been food and men - in that order. "

" Every seven years, I sit down and make a whole new plan. "

" There's nothing like white trash at the White House. "

" People are looking for something a little more stable; people are feeling like they need to get closer to God. "

" I know who I am, I know what I can and can't do. I know what I will and won't do. I know what I'm capable of and I don't agree to do things that I don't think I can pull off. "

" I think that I'm perfect. "

" I love story songs because I've always loved books. "

" I'm a showgirl, as you can tell. I'm ever ready. "

" I'm not a politician. And I don't want to be. "

" I didn't know any gay people in my childhood. "

" I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde. "

" God and I have a great relationship, but we both see other people. "

" Nobody can ever make enough money for as many poor relatives as I've got. Somebody's got a sick kid, or somebody needs an operation, somebody ain't got this, somebody ain't got that. Or to give the kids all a car when they graduate. "

" My husband calls me 'catfish.' He says I'm all mouth and no brains. "

" I look just like the girls next door... if you happen to live next door to an amusement park. "