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" If I'd had a great level of success early on, who knows how I would have responded. I might have been a complete jerk. "

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" There's such a freewheeling nature to 'Second City,' and the greatest thing about 'Second City' was having a sophisticated audience night after night who appreciated what it was. They knew it wasn't all going to be great when you improvised, so they were very forgiving that way. "

" I love my wife dearly, and, therefore, I've never cooked a meal, romantic or otherwise, for her. "

" I have no idea where my pathetic nature comes from. If I thought about it too long, it would depress me. "

" In my wildest dreams I never thought - well, I never thought I'd work. "

" I tend not to be someone who's on all the time, or is always trying to make other people laugh. "

" I had, like, two goals in my career: One was to try to get into 'Second City.' When I moved to Chicago, my goal was to try to work at 'Second City.' And beyond that, my goal was to make enough money as an actor to not do anything else but act, not have to go and wait tables again. "

" Nothing to me feels as good as laughing incredibly hard. "

" I'm listening to a lot of Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, and Rihanna. A lot of pop female artists. I have to say I'm pretty well-versed in the pop female category. "

" I think anyone loves to play a character that is either evil to a certain extent or has a real definable character flaw. Those are always really fun, and, I think, funny. "

" Whenever I'm offered something, I always read the script and meet the director. I still appreciate just being considered. "

" Steve Buscemi is hilarious. He's really, really good with improv. "

" 'Anchorman'... is not grounded in anything. There is absolutely no heart to that movie, which I love. "

" There's very little you could do to prepare to be a correspondent on 'The Daily Show,' because it's not being a journalist, it's not being an actor. It involves elements of both of those things, but they're not required necessarily as job experience. It's helpful if you know how to improvise, but again, not a requirement. "

" I don't think something necessarily has to be mean or cynical to represent 'edgy.' I think 'edgy' can mean a lot of different things. "

" You're so in love with your children that you'd do anything for them; that's not necessarily the best thing. "

" What kind of person would have a real craving for gummy worms? "

" From cheesecake on a stick to meat skewers to deep-fried bananas on a stick - there are no plates anymore. In Los Angeles, everything has become a corn dog. Actually, corn dogs still work. But most other food should be stickless. "

" Whenever you see people talking about how real they are or how normal they are, it seems odd to have that self awareness that you could potentially not be normal. "

" You never saw Peter Sellers the actor trying to make you laugh. All he was doing was the character. What I'm saying is that I don't think you should know you're in a movie. I don't like it when actors are winking at the audience and saying, 'Right, isn't this funny? Are you with me?' "

" Reading a book, watching a movie, going to a play, it's transporting, and very, very exciting. And to be a part of that, creating things with your imagination, whoa. "

" I would like for my kids to at least have some familiarity with who I am: 'It's the man from TV!' "

" I don't even know if I have kind of a personal, like a take or a mental manual of how I'm raising kids. It's really - I think with everybody, it's just day-to-day and you just try to deal with every situation as they come. "

" People generally have sex fairly young, and probably younger than they should be having it. "

" There's plenty of room for all sorts of movies and all sorts of comedies, so I never saw that as a competitive thing. I think there's room in the marketplace for everything. "

" I was a bad dater, and up until 8th grade I went to an all boy's school. So, by the time I hit high school I was a bit freaked out by women in general. "

" I've thought a lot about success, because it's very strange to me that I've been successful. "

" Everybody should be normal. Everybody should be nice. I think they go hand in hand, and that to me is the default setting. "

" How did I end up in films with people like Keira Knightley... all these beautiful leading ladies and me - it's kind of shocking. "

" Six-year-olds are very wrapped up in their own lives, and that's the way it should be. "

" My maternal grandma was a tough, tough lady and a stern woman, who lost her husband young and raised six kids by herself. She lived in a mining community in Upstate New York and ran a boarding house for miners. She took care of an entire family and miners who lived in the house as well. "