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" If it were not for the presents, an elopement would be preferable. "
" One man's poison ivy is another man's spinach. "
" The time to enjoy a European trip is about three weeks after unpacking. "
" A good jolly is worth what you pay for it. "
" In the city a funeral is just an interruption of traffic; in the country it is a form of popular entertainment. "
" She was short on intellect, but long on shape. "
" To insure peace of mind ignore the rules and regulations. "
" Do unto yourself as your neighbors do unto themselves and look pleasant. "
" It is not time for mirth and laughter, the cold, gray dawn of the morning after. "
" Nothing is improbable until it moves into past tense. "
" Early to bed and early to rise is a bad rule for anyone who wishes to become acquainted with our most prominent and influential people. "
" Anybody can win - unless there happens to be a second entry. "
" Only the more rugged mortals should attempt to keep up with current literature. "
" For parlor use, the vague generality is a life saver. "
" A man never feels more important than when he receives a telegram containing more than ten words. "
" A friend who is near and dear may in time become as useless as a relative. "