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" If properly dried and trimmed, New York-style pizza could be used to make a box for Chicago-style pizza. "
Nick Offerman
Box
Used
Could
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" I've been working steadily as an actor since around 1998. I wasn't well known in the public, but I was a dependable working journeyman. "
Nick Offerman
Working
Well
Dependable
" I've learned through experience that to trouble celebrities with my handshake doesn't do anybody any good. "
Nick Offerman
Trouble
Good
Any
" When I got to Los Angeles, I started building cabins in peoples' yards, building post-and-beam structures and cutting the joinery for those. "
Nick Offerman
Got
Los Angeles
Los
" I grew up in a small town in Illinois, and my dad was a basketball coach. Thanks to him, I have excellent fundamentals in both basketball and baseball. "
Nick Offerman
Baseball
Basketball
Small Town
" I have a wonderfully hedonistic appetite, and if I wasn't really strict with myself, I'd weigh 300 pounds. I'm not good with moderation. "
Nick Offerman
Myself
Good
Moderation
" I've had to learn and discipline myself that I'm much happier and much less depressed if I give myself a project. It's just that simple. "
Nick Offerman
Just
Discipline
Simple
" I have a Kenwood charcoal grill. In our house, if anybody is cooking, it's me. I love making burgers. I love making pork tenderloin. Lamb chops I do on the grill a lot. But you just can't beat brats. "
Nick Offerman
Beat
You
Me
" I come from a family of fishermen. Fishing is very important to us. We don't hunt. We're not gun folk. "
Nick Offerman
Fishing
Important
Family
" When I got my job on 'Parks,' it was so dreamy, kind of unfathomable. I didn't think a job that excellent could exist for me. "
Nick Offerman
Parks
Me
Kind
" I am always so happy to be at 'SNL.' I still feel like a kid when I'm there, like I can't believe I'm watching them make the show. "
Nick Offerman
Happy
Always
Believe
" I'm enjoying the opportunity that 'Parks And Recreation' affords me to exploit my own soapbox agenda, which is to try to encourage people to make things with their hands. "
Nick Offerman
Opportunity
People
My Own
" When I hear young people today complain about being bored - and the things that keep them from being bored are generally exclusively videogames and/or computer pastimes - I just try to encourage them to go outside. "
Nick Offerman
People
Today
Try
" There have been a few occurrences where people in restaurants have sent me a rasher of bacon, which I am not going to turn my nose up at. I never let them down. "
Nick Offerman
Never
People
Turn
" I'm very hairy, and men in film and TV are no longer allowed to be hairy. "
Nick Offerman
Very
TV
Men
" Meat is a big deal in my life. I do love breakfast food, but I don't think that's extraordinary. I'm a normal American. We love eggs and meat and potatoes and gravy. "
Nick Offerman
Meat
Think
Love
" We have such an embarrassment of riches when it comes to choice. Do you want to hike in the Alps? There are 300 pairs of shoes you can order within the next 10 minutes. You have your choice of everything. "
Nick Offerman
Want
Everything
You
" You know, even working actors can end up having a lot of spare time. And you can either go sit at the Starbucks and wait for your agent to call you, or you can go learn how to build a Shaker blanket chest with hand-cut dovetails. "
Nick Offerman
End
Know
You
" I worked a lot in Chicago's theater scene as a fight choreographer. And so I do have a lot of experience in stage combat and also in Kabuki dance and Kabuki theater. "
Nick Offerman
Chicago
Experience
Dance
" My wife happens to be probably the greatest working woman in comedy. I can't think of anyone who even approaches her achievements and her abilities. "
Nick Offerman
Think
Comedy
Her
" It's funny, growing up there was never anybody around me with any kind of artistic bent. "
Nick Offerman
Up
Growing
Kind
" I grew up among farmers in Illinois and so you always have to have the tools you might need in the eventuality of a flat tire or a broken window. "
Nick Offerman
You
Tools
Always
" If you're an original thinker, you are going get told 'no' a lot, and you have to be able to hear 'no' many times from the bankers and trust that at some point, someone is going to recognize that you are an artist and not a can of soda. "
Nick Offerman
You
Artist
Trust
" I also grew up building theatrical scenery. I spent many years building scenery as a large part of my income and that allowed me to really develop my shop skills. "
Nick Offerman
Skills
Scenery
Me
" I think it's fascinating that I receive attention for what people perceive to be a level of manliness or machismo, when amongst my family of farmers and paramedics and regular Americans, I'm kind of the sissy in my family. "
Nick Offerman
Think
People
Kind
" And what we've lost sight of is that performing manual labor with your hands is one of the most incredibly satisfying and positive things you can do. "
Nick Offerman
Labor
Sight
You
" I have a corn creamer that I love. It extracts pulp and juice from kernels, and I simmer that down into a creamed corn that has an almost mashed potato-like consistency. I add butter and hit it with chopped fresh chives at the end for an accent of color. "
Nick Offerman
Love
Color
Consistency
" My uncles, who are farmers in Minooka, Illinois - I grew up with them and their pickup trucks and mustaches, and to me that was masculinity: big hairy sweaty guys who could pick up a bus. "
Nick Offerman
Me
Masculinity
Up
" If I had more time, I'd watch more woodworking or home-improvement shows, but, not enough hours in the day. "
Nick Offerman
More
Time
Watch
" For years I drove a big Ford F250 pickup. That was my ride because two-thirds of my work was wood work, and I'm always driving up to Northern California, where I harvest salvaged trees. "
Nick Offerman
Trees
Harvest
Driving
" I am a saxophone player. "
Nick Offerman
Player
I Am
Am