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" I'm a lifelong bachelor, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't marry the right woman. "

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" Even though we're a week and a half away from Thanksgiving, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. "

" That's why I've always been appreciative of truly creative radio commercials. "

" You can't take up golf on a whim and find yourself competing against Tiger Woods in the Masters six months later. "

" Well, I think one of the reasons Chicago became so popular as a filmmaker location is because New York had been used so many times that Chicago, I think, was rediscovered maybe in the late '60s, early '70s for a long time as a new location. "

" Whether it's viewers of the show or readers of my columns and books, I'm consistently impressed with their wit, humor and insight. That goes for about 95 percent of the audience. The other five percent are why the 'Delete' option and restraining orders were invented. "

" Living in the past is a Jethro Tull album, not a smart poker strategy. "

" Men's magazines often feature pictures of naked ladies. Women's magazines also often feature pictures of naked ladies. This is because the female body is a beautiful work of art, while the male body is hairy and lumpy and should not be seen by the light of day. "

" The truth is that our way of celebrating the Christmas season does spring from myriad cultures and sources, from St. Nicholas to Coca-Cola advertising campaigns. "

" On first blush, Hold 'em seems like a ridiculously simple game. "

" You're not allowed to give yourself a nickname. This holds true in life as well as in poker. "

" I loved watching classics such as 'Casablanca' and goofball comedies such as 'How To Murder Your Wife' on WGN-TV. "

" Wal-Mart doesn't really care about your faith. Wal-Mart cares if you have money to spend, and it is going to be as generic as possible in exploiting the holiday season for every buck it can make. "

" There's a lot of vitriolic ranting out there, but there are literally hundreds of critics on the web who care deeply about film and having something to say about it. "

" When we root-root-root for the home team, we're rooting for our home as much as the team. "

" Sometimes a 3-1 favorite loses. That's why they call it gambling, and that's why they keep flipping over the cards. "

" I grew up in Dolton, just south of Chicago, about a 20-minute drive from old Comiskey Park. "

" I've been playing Texas Hold 'em and other forms of poker since I was about 12. "