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" I'm not an ace at small talk. "
Peter Falk
Small
Talk
Small Talk
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" I didn't become an actor until I was an old man of 28 or 29. I declared to the world that I was an actor. Nobody heard me, but I did declare it. "
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" I'm secretly very stuffy. "
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Very
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" I got a regret: That I started acting so late. I was 27, and guys who start at 18 or so, there's this kinda continuity of friendships they form in the profession by startin' young, I've never had that. "
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Late
Got
" I've been there a thousand years, and I never felt comfortable. Beverly Hills - when I first saw it, I thought they put it up this morning. You got to pack water to get to the drugstore. "
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Never
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" To be a theater actor, I think you have to do plays all the time. "
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I Think
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" I used to dread somebody saying, 'Whatsa matter with your eye?' "
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Dread
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" The entertainment industry is loaded with extraordinarily talented people. But the true, genuine originals, they're rare. "
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True
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" There's a bit of a problem. The script that I like, the network doesn't like. The script that they like, I don't like. "
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Bit
Like
Network
" Sometimes I was in school plays, but only when the kid they'd originally picked got sick and they asked me to substitute. "
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Sometimes
Got
Kid
" Actors know one thing: If you're left just with words, you're in trouble. "
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Words
You
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" I did do my own stunts. "
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Stunts
My Own
Did
" When I was a kid growing up, you maybe secretly wanted to be an actor, but you never said. "
Peter Falk
Growing Up
Growing
Up
" My wife loves to get all dressed up and go out, and I'm this gloomy Virgo. It works because of the mutual recognition that we are two democratic narcissists. She does what she has to do, and I do what I have to do. We respect that. "
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Respect
Recognition
She
" If you were brought up in the '40s, a kid in Ossining, New York, hanging out at the poolroom and stealing, how can you think, 'Here I am in Ossining. I, too, can be a movie star!' "
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I Am
Kid
New
" It depends how lenient you are with your definition of artist. If you're going to include those who tap dance at the high school recital, then maybe I am. "
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High School
I Am
School
" Usually, I get hired because I'm tall. "
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Because
Hired
Tall
" Before we ever had a script or anything, I was attracted to the idea of playing a character that housed within himself two opposing traits. "
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Before
Character
Playing
" I just keep working. "
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Just
Working
Keep
" When I was growing up in Ossining, N.Y., playing pool with the guys, the thought that any one of us might become an actor was as far-fetched as being knighted by the queen of England. "
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Growing Up
Growing
Queen
" What's the name of that famous museum in Paris? The Louvre? I went through that place in 20 minutes. "
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Name
Place
Paris
" I'm makin' a lotta dough, everyone knows who you are, and who the hell cares whether you're typecast or not? Also, there's something wrong with complaining about being typecast in something you really enjoy doing. "
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Enjoy
You
Complaining
" The female body is awesome. "
Peter Falk
Female
Awesome
Body
" The truth is, no one is like Columbo. "
Peter Falk
Truth Is
Like
Truth
" I thought actors were artists and that artists had to be European. "
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Artists
European
Had
" If it wasn't for the Mark Twain Masquers, I don't know where my life would have gone. "
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My Life
Mark
Life
" I once did a film in Russia because I wanted to see what the hell was going on there. "
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Russia
Going
Film
" When I go see a basketball game, I'm always in the front row. I always have a table at a restaurant; I never have trouble getting a taxi. "
Peter Falk
Basketball
Game
Restaurant
" When I was a kid, the idea of gettin' paid to paint your face... listen, I grew up in Ossining, New York, a nice little town by the Hudson, and nothin' ever interested me except being your usual high school big shot, which I was an' loved it, played all the sports and goofed around, always out on the street with the guys, everything was funny t'me. "
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Sports
Face
Funny
" I'm old fashioned. I really think you should know how to draw before you start painting. I use charcoal and graphite; I put a skylight in. In my house, I turned the garage into an art studio. So I'm awash in art studios. "
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Think
You
Know
" I've worked with some terrific actors. The list of guys that came on the 'Columbo' show, I mean they were world-class actors from all over the world - Oskar Werner, Laurence Harvey, Donald Pleasence, you know... foreigners. "
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World
Mean
You