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" My wife loves to get all dressed up and go out, and I'm this gloomy Virgo. It works because of the mutual recognition that we are two democratic narcissists. She does what she has to do, and I do what I have to do. We respect that. "

Peter Falk

Respect

Recognition

She

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" I am older than everyone I ever knew. All my dogs are dead. Half a dozen cats, parakeets... all gone. "

" I used to take girls out on a date to Night Court. And I'll tell you, most girls, they got a kick out of going to Night Court. 'Cause you get a lot of laughs... and it's cheap. "

" It became the joke of the neighbourhood. If the umpire ruled me out on a bad call, I'd take the fake eye out and hand it to him. "

Peter Falk

Him

Hand

" The truth is, no one is like Columbo. "

Peter Falk

Truth Is

Truth

" I'm makin' a lotta dough, everyone knows who you are, and who the hell cares whether you're typecast or not? Also, there's something wrong with complaining about being typecast in something you really enjoy doing. "

" Actors know one thing: If you're left just with words, you're in trouble. "

" If it wasn't for the Mark Twain Masquers, I don't know where my life would have gone. "

" Acting is like golf: analysis leads to paralysis. "

Peter Falk

Analysis

Golf

" God didn't design anyone to be recognized by 2 billion people. "

" If I'm a guy reading a newspaper, and I hear this actor who I know gets great seats at basketball games, and he's complaining about being typecast, I think, 'Hey man, count your blessings.' "

" To be a theater actor, I think you have to do plays all the time. "

" I didn't become an actor until I was an old man of 28 or 29. I declared to the world that I was an actor. Nobody heard me, but I did declare it. "

" There isn't an Eskimo who doesn't love 'Columbo.' "

Peter Falk

Who

Love

" It depends how lenient you are with your definition of artist. If you're going to include those who tap dance at the high school recital, then maybe I am. "

" I've worked with some terrific actors. The list of guys that came on the 'Columbo' show, I mean they were world-class actors from all over the world - Oskar Werner, Laurence Harvey, Donald Pleasence, you know... foreigners. "

" Your instincts for what's dramatic are the same whether you're working on a drawing or on a script. "

" When I go see a basketball game, I'm always in the front row. I always have a table at a restaurant; I never have trouble getting a taxi. "

" I don't like getting up in the morning, getting in a car, driving on a freeway, and stopping at a gate where two guards are standing there, then walk into a studio that looks like a bunch of airplane hangars. "

" Most people think glamor is happiness. "

" The only mountain that I would still like to climb: I'd like to break 85. "

Peter Falk

Only

Climb

" They wouldn't take me in the navy because of my glass eye. So I joined the merchant navy, who allowed monocular crew if you worked in the kitchens. You're not wanted on deck or in the engine room with one eye, but you're good to fire up the ovens and cook hundreds of chops. "

" The whole thing was an actor's dream - getting a character that tickles you so much you can't wait to act as him. "

" I was a street-guy villain. I was a street-corner villain. I was an illiterate villain. All rough edges. "

" I thought actors were artists and that artists had to be European. "

" My idea of Heaven is to wake up, have a good breakfast, and spend the rest of the day drawing. "

Peter Falk

Breakfast

Good

" I've never worried about the grand concepts. "

" I used to dread somebody saying, 'Whatsa matter with your eye?' "

" I hate to talk about typecasting, because being typecast as Columbo ain't cancer. "

" I came to Hollywood and nobody knew me. I was on a coupla TV shows. "

" There were no artists in Ossining, which was the home of Sing Sing prison. Most of the parents of the guys I knew were guards there. "