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" I'm very serious about no alcohol, no drugs. Life is too beautiful. "

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" Originality is really important. "

" I've tried everything. I've done therapy, I've done colonics. I went to a psychic who had me running around town buying pieces of ribbon to fill the colors in my aura. Did the Prozac thing. "

" I'm the first to admit this whole salary thing is getting out of control. In the final analysis, it's still about the work. "

" My focus is to forget the pain of life. Forget the pain, mock the pain, reduce it. And laugh. "

" Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches. "

" Before I do anything, I think, well what hasn't been seen. Sometimes, that turns out to be something ghastly and not fit for society. And sometimes that inspiration becomes something that's really worthwhile. "

" I haven't been as wild with my money as somebody like me might have been. I've been very safe, very conservative with investments. I don't blow money. I don't have a ton of houses. I know things can go away. I've already had that experience. "

" Creative people don't behave very well generally. If you're looking for examples of good relationships in show business, you're gonna be depressed real fast. I don't have time for anything else right now but work and my daughter. She's my first priority. "

" That's the trouble with being me. At this point, nobody gives a damn what my problem is. I could literally have a tumor on the side of my head and they'd be like, 'Yeah, big deal. I'd eat a tumor every morning for the kinda money you're pulling down.' "

" It's nice to finally get scripts offered to me that aren't the ones Tom Hanks wipes his butt with. "

" I just want to be myself. "

" My mother was a professional sick person; she took a lot of pain pills. There are many people like that. It's just how they are used to getting attention. I always remember she's the daughter of alcoholics who'd leave her alone at Christmas time. "

" I absolutely want to have a career where you make'em laugh and make'em cry. It's all theater. "

" If I had never ventured beyond being a stand-up comic, then I would be sitting in my house today working on my Leonardo DiCaprio impression. "

" I refuse to feel guilty. I feel guilty about too much in my life but not about money. I went through periods when I had nothing, so somebody in my family has to get stinkin' wealthy. "

" For some reason I did something where I realized I could get a reaction. That was when I broke out of my shell at school, because I really didn't have any friends or anything like that and I just kind of was going along, and then finally I did this zany thing, and all of a sudden I had tons of friends. "

" But, you know, you can't be a star at home. "

" You know, I live a monastic lifestyle. No, I do. I do live in extremes, basically. I go back and forth. Once every six months, I'll have a day where I eat more chocolate than has ever been consumed by a human being. "

" There was a time when people said, 'Jim, if you keep on making faces, your face will freeze like that.' Now they just say, 'Pay him!' "

" I really believe in the philosophy that you create your own universe. I'm just trying to create a good one for myself. "

" I'm so wrapped up in my work that it's often impossible to consider other things in my life. My marriage ended in divorce because of this, my relationship with Holly has suffered by this. "

" I want to be the greatest actor that ever lived, frankly. I'd love that. But I don't need to be. I just want to be here. That's it. "

" Some nights it was a melee, literally, where I'd be standing trying to defend myself for what I was doing. People would be screaming at me to do my old act, and getting actually violent and angry at me. "

" Green Eggs and Ham was the story of my life. I wouldn't eat a thing when I was a kid, but Dr. Seuss inspired me to try cauliflower! "

" My upbringing in Canada made me the person I am. I will always be proud to be a Canadian. "

" We had problems like all families but we had a lot of love. I was extremely loved. We always felt we had each other. "

" If you've got a talent, protect it. "

" I wake up some mornings and sit and have my coffee and look out at my beautiful garden, and I go, 'Remember how good this is. Because you can lose it.' "

" My dad was like a stage mother he always pushed me to do what I wanted. "

" I feel like I want to take care of everyone and I also feel this terrible guilt if I am unable to. And I have felt this way ever since all this success started. "