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" In 2002, my daughter was diagnosed with a rare form of colon cancer. And it was such a shock, a surprise to us. "
Iyanla Vanzant
Daughter
Us
Surprise
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" It is an honor and a privilege to be of service and support; however, I realize people are not putting their confidence in me. Instead, they are actually learning to trust themselves. My job is to affirm and support them in the process and teach them to do what I do when I need strength: I begin within. "
Iyanla Vanzant
Learning
Confidence
Service
" My father never kissed me, hugged me or told me that he loved me. As my only living parent, he became the filter through which I saw myself, the possibilities for my life, the world and all men. He was a conflicted and dark filter. "
Iyanla Vanzant
Father
Myself
World
" The show is 'Fix My Life!' Get it? Life. I do not fix people. "
Iyanla Vanzant
Show
People
My Life
" People say I've had a difficult time in life. I think I've had an exciting time in life. "
Iyanla Vanzant
Time
Life
Exciting
" Everyone has something that blocks us from the full experience and expression of our nobility. "
Iyanla Vanzant
Expression
Experience
Us
" The remedy for life's broken pieces is not classes, workshops or books. Don't try to heal the broken pieces. Just forgive. "
Iyanla Vanzant
Life
Forgive
Try
" Why can't women get along? Because we're afraid. We're afraid to be vulnerable. We're afraid to be soft. We're afraid to be hurt. But most of all, we're afraid of our power. So we become controlling and aggressive and vicious. "
Iyanla Vanzant
Women
Hurt
Power
" You know, if you're a human and living on the planet, it doesn't matter what you do; you are not immune to the challenges, the trials, the difficulty. And that fact that I happen to be a coach and a minister and a spiritual teacher doesn't mean anything. I'm still human. "
Iyanla Vanzant
Know
Challenges
Spiritual
" At birth, we are like cartilage - soft, flexible tissue. By the same natural process by which cartilage becomes hard bone, the soft, tender heart of an innocent child can become hardened by the circumstances into which she is born. "
Iyanla Vanzant
Innocent
Process
She
" You have a right to say no. Most of us have very weak and flaccid 'no' muscles. We feel guilty for saying no. We get ostracized and challenged for saying no, so we forget it's our choice. Your 'no' muscle has to be built up to get to a place where you can say, 'I don't care if that's what you want. I don't want that. No.' "
Iyanla Vanzant
Care
Choice
Feel
" I surround people in unconditional acceptance and love to such a degree that everything that is unloving about them rises to the surface. "
Iyanla Vanzant
Love
Acceptance
Everything
" What I am doing; how I am being as I am doing it; and does it bring honor to my community? What is the lesson in what I am doing? And most importantly, am I having fun? "
Iyanla Vanzant
Community
Fun
Having Fun
" I've seen the good, the bad, and the ugly. Lived it and I'm still here to talk about it and help someone else if I can. "
Iyanla Vanzant
I Can
Ugly
Bad
" I'm the person that I always was, but in terms of how I approach my living, I'm not the same person at all. At all. I've buried a child, I've ended a marriage, and the grandson that I was raising is now grown. My family has totally shifted. "
Iyanla Vanzant
Child
Marriage
Living
" Some of us pray demands. Some of us pray complaints. Some of us pray knowing, and some of us pray not knowing. But prayer is the attitude that you hold in your heart. "
Iyanla Vanzant
Us
Attitude
Heart
" I have learned the hard way to mind my business, without judging who people are and what they do. I am more troubled by the lack of space being provided for the truth to unfold. Humans cannot seem to wait for or honor the truth. Instead, we make it up based on who we believe people should or should not be. "
Iyanla Vanzant
I Am
Mind
Wait
" If you don't like your sister or don't get along with your father, let's find out if you like yourself. Let's not sugarcoat anything about it. "
Iyanla Vanzant
Find
Yourself
Out
" At times I have long conversations with God. Sometimes I ask questions. I admit that there are also times when I let out my frustrations, fears, and anxieties in less than honorable ways. No matter what I pray about or how I pray about it, the result I always get is comfort. "
Iyanla Vanzant
God
Result
Questions
" When Oprah Winfrey tells you that you need to have your own show, you feel compelled to do it. Especially if she's gonna pay for it! "
Iyanla Vanzant
Own
Need
Feel
" In my deepest, darkest moments, what really got me through was a prayer. Sometimes my prayer was 'Help me.' Sometimes a prayer was 'Thank you.' What I've discovered is that intimate connection and communication with my creator will always get me through because I know my support, my help, is just a prayer away. "
Iyanla Vanzant
Faith
Support
Prayer
" There is a lot of healing going on. Really! More people are vegetarians, more are in the green movement, more of us are tearing down the old paradigms and embracing same-sex marriage, single motherhood, men raising babies. "
Iyanla Vanzant
Motherhood
Marriage
Healing
" I think most people think that a spiritual path or growing spiritually means that all of a sudden you'll be able to forecast the six lotto numbers and all your bills will be paid. "
Iyanla Vanzant
Spiritual
You
Think
" What will support any relationship is clear, complete and conscious conversations when upsets or breakdowns occur. "
Iyanla Vanzant
Will
Support
Clear
" All things are lessons that God would have us learn. "
Iyanla Vanzant
Us
God
Things
" Order is the first law of heaven, and you have to have order to survive on Earth. Figure out what has to be done each day, each week, each year and develop a system to achieve it. "
Iyanla Vanzant
Earth
Heaven
You
" For most of my life, I believed that my father had broken many of my bones. They were emotional and psychological bones; things no one could see, things that caused me to limp through life clutching for and holding on to people and situations that often rendered me immobile. "
Iyanla Vanzant
Father
People
My Life
" Begin within. If it shows up in your life, it's coming to tell you something about you that you're acting like you don't know. Something about yourself, or your relationship with God. "
Iyanla Vanzant
God
Yourself
Relationship
" Be willing to share all of who you are. So many of us want a partner, but we're not willing to show all of us. "
Iyanla Vanzant
You
Partner
Want
" In order to feel loved, be respected and stay connected, we humans have a tendency to lie. We lie about who we are, what we want, what we need, what we have done or will do. Perhaps 'lie' is too strong a word. Let me say that what we do is withhold the truth. "
Iyanla Vanzant
Loved
Lie
Strong
" Whether at work, at home or in public, we have been trained to believe that who we are at the core of our being is often unacceptable. As a result, we work diligently to live up to - and sometimes down to - what others have made us out to be, whether or not it is an accurate reflection of who we are. "
Iyanla Vanzant
Believe
Home
Live