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" In America, we are demanding everything from our marriage. "
Helen Fisher
Everything
Demanding
America
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" You size up someone physically in less than one second - too tall, too short, too fat, too thin, too old, too young, too stuffy, too scruffy. "
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" Young women today do not marry the men they met in high school, or even the one they go out with at college, because they do not need to. "
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" The brain was not built to walk into a bar, where you know nobody, and start a conversation. That's not the way humanity has courted. "
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" Research shows that couples who have a lot of similarities, including intellectual compatibility, end up staying together. "
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" You can be instantly scared. You can be instantly happy. So why can't you be instantly romantically in love? I think when it happens, it's because you are ready to fall in love. "
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" In that early-love stage, you're in that state of exhilaration. You talk till dawn. You become obsessed with 'What does he think?' 'Does he like me?' 'Does he think I'm fat?' "
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" I suspect privacy is a very new concept to humanity. "
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" The Great Depression of the 1930s saw more American unmarried women working from nine to five, mostly in repetitive, boring, subordinate, dead-end jobs. But the number of working women doubled between 1870 and 1940. During World War II it doubled once again. "
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" Experiences shape the brain, but the brain shapes the way we view experiences, too. "
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" Psychologists maintain that the dizzying feeling of intense romantic love lasts only about 18 months to - at best - three years. "
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" Scientists know that women gravitate to men who have a different immune system from theirs. "
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" Blushing is thought to be linked to increased levels of norepinephrine in the brain, which may be associated with romantic feelings. It signals that we are interested and excited, which is attractive to men. "
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" I have always been interested in how you can walk into a room and there will be 40 people there and you are immediately drawn to one. "
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" When people tell you to walk a certain way, it's like not thinking of a purple tomato. You can't not do it. "
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" Men and women are like two feet; they can help each other get ahead. "
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" Men tend to be hierarchical, but women are driven to make lateral connections so they can cooperate. "
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" Nobody gets out of love alive. You turn into a menace or a pest when you've been rejected. "
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" A woman of 40 or 50 or 60 can take estrogen replacements, get facelifts, spend her money in bars. "
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" The reason you take antidepressants is to feel calm. And romantic love is not calm - it's elation, it's mood swings, and you're killing all that when you take the drug. "
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" Hair that gleams can send a clear sign that you're young and in your prime, whatever your actual age. "
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" Jealousy can even be good for love. One partner may feel secretly flattered when the other is mildly jealous. And catching someone flirting with your beloved can spark the kind of lust and romance that reignites a relationship. "
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" We still have community, but we don't seem to have local community. Even in a small town where you know your neighbors and your mother's down the street, they're not in arm's length. "
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" We spend our lives trying to get along with people so we can keep our jobs, keep our marriages together, so that we can raise our kids properly. "
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" As women in industrial societies join the paid workforce, they gain the economic means to depart unhappy marriages more easily. "
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" Neither gender is routinely more jealous - although women are more willing to work to win back a lover, while men tend to flaunt their money and status and are more likely to walk out to protect their self-esteem or save face. "
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" It certainly would have been adaptive for ancestral man to have a chubby wife during stressful times of famine. Not only would she have had more calories to burn, and thus more energy and endurance, but since fat stores estrogen, she would have remained fertile for longer. "
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" People compose poetry, novels, sitcoms - for love. "
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" When you massage someone, the levels of oxytocin go up in the brain, and oxytocin is one of the chemicals that drives attachment. "
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" People have often asked me whether what I know about love has spoiled it for me. And I just simply say, 'Hardly.' You can know every single ingredient in a piece of chocolate cake, and then when you sit down and eat that cake, you can still feel that joy. "
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