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" It could be construed that the reason I wouldn't wish to live in England is the immigration explosion. And that's not true at all. "

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" I have found the best way to avoid ending your life as a bitter wreck is to start out as one. "

" Congratulations to Prince Charles for banning foie gras from all his functions. "

" Age shouldn't affect you. It's just like the size of your shoes - they don't determine how you live your life! You're either marvellous or you're boring, regardless of your age. "

" Let lying dogs sleep is something I always say in reference to the Smiths. "

" With the issue of immigration, it's very difficult because, although I don't have anything against people from other countries, the higher the influx into England, the more the British identity disappears. "

" You can't help but feel that the Chinese are a subspecies. "

" For me to think in terms of employing security seems ostentatious. "

" The monarchy is foremost a business, and it's important to them that the British public continue to finance the excessive luxurious lifestyles of the now quite enormous, wasteful and useless 'royal' family. I find it very sad. "

" The Queen is the ultimate dictator. "

" If anyone has seen the horrific and unwatchable footage of the Chinese cat and dog trade - animals skinned alive - then they could not possibly argue in favour of China as a caring nation. There are no animal protection laws in China and this results in the worst animal abuse and cruelty on the planet. It is indefensible. "

" I hated the royal wedding. "

" I still prefer horses to human beings. "

" Women don't go to war to kill other women. Wars and armies and nuclear weapons are essentially heterosexual hobbies. "

" I feel undefinable actually. "

" When you're younger, you see the people who are in power and think they must have that position because of some degree of skill. And as you get older, you realize it's not true, that most people in those positions are absolutely inept. And this naturally makes you feel better about yourself. "

" I do maintain that if your hair is wrong, your entire life is wrong. "

" Not everybody is absolutely stupid. Why on earth would I be racist, what would I be trying to achieve? "

" The word 'indie' is meaningless now. It's so over-used that people think it simply means green hair. "

" Smiths songs certainly have an astonishing afterlife. "

" British politics, as the world knows, is a joke. Yet it's rarely funny. "

" England is a memory now. The gates are flooded and anybody can have access to England and join in. "

" The Royal family to me are not England, and they are not the flag. "

" I'm capable of looking on the bright side. I just don't do it very often. "

" The rhino is now more or less extinct, and it's not because of global warming or shrinking habitats. It's because of Beyonce's handbags. "

" Although I don't have anything against people from other countries, the higher the influx into England the more the British identity disappears. "

" As a very small child I found recorded noise and the solitary singer beneath the spotlight so dramatic and so brave... walking the plank... willingly... It was sink or swim. The very notion of standing there, alone, I found beautiful. "

" Life's full of tricky snakes and ladders. "

" Artists aren't really people. And I'm actually 40 per cent papier mache. "

" I am unable to watch the Olympics due to the blustering jingoism that drenches the event. Has England ever been quite so foul with patriotism? The 'dazzling royals' have, quite naturally, hi-jacked the Olympics for their own empirical needs, and no oppositional voice is allowed in the free press. "