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" It's not foreign for me to be talking about my problems in circles. "

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" I learned a valuable lesson doing 'Mr. Sunshine,' which is that I didn't want to be in charge because it's too much. Being in charge and acting in every scene was just too difficult. It's like eating dinner in a moving golf cart every night. "

" I love the idea of 'the one' but I actually believe that there isn't a Miss Right. There are 12,000 Miss Rights out there and it's all timing. "

" To be a comedian, you have to have some darkness behind it. I certainly draw on my past, and it helps. "

" I need a woman to have a quirky sense of humor. There's a bunch of jokes I use, and if she doesn't get them, she's probably not for me. "

" Vicodin, I got addicted to that little pill. The reason I don't talk about it too much in the press is because it isn't funny, and I love to be funny in interviews. If you joke about that period in your life, it doesn't seem right. "

" I would like you all to give me a round of applause as I have not crashed my car in over 15 months. "

" I certainly like the rumour that I was the father of Elizabeth Hurley's baby. It made me think I could impregnate women in a different way to everyone else. Elizabeth and I were never alone in a room together, so I must be a very powerful man indeed. Actually, I'm thinking of suing the baby! "

" I was a guy who wanted to become famous. There was steam coming out of my ears, I wanted to be famous so badly. You want the attention, you want the bucks, and you want the best seat in the restaurant. I didn't think what the repercussions would be. "

" I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. "

" As for my personal life, I'd love to start a family of my own. I think I'd make a great dad, and I think shortly I would make a great husband. "

" I grew up babysitting and always enjoyed it. I love family. A couple of my closest friends have kids, and I'm their godfather, and that's one of my greatest pleasures in life, just picking them up from school and hanging out with them. "

" I have a well-documented history of trouble with intimacy. "

" Women always think that I'm Chandler, so if I don't joke around for half an hour, they think that something's wrong. Then I explain that I don't have comedy writers scripting everything I'm saying at this particular dinner. "

" To me, writing is remembering something funny that happened, or maybe something I said seven years ago. "

" Nine times out of 10, women don't want to fix a problem, they just want to be understood. I'll never get that. "

" Chandler's the guy everybody thinks will do well with women, but he thinks too much and says the wrong thing. "

" I'm a sensitive guy. If you are a woman and you're in any kind of emotional duress and you write a song about it, I'll buy you album. "

" My feeling on therapy is it's a luxury, and if you're fortunate enough to get some smart people to talk to about life, then that's fortunate and you should go for it. "

" In high school, my prom date fooled around with another guy - on prom night! "

" As an actor, being on autopilot is the worst thing possible. "

" I certainly wear my heart on my sleeve, and I think that comes out in the characters that I play. There's a yearning, or something, that comes out of me that people relate to. "

" I went to a high school that didn't have many people in it. There were, like, 60 people in my senior class. There was a group of cool kids and a group of really dorky kids, and I was probably the coolest of the really dorky kids. "

" I've certainly had a lot of experiences in my life where I was much too self-centered. "

" When I was younger, I used humour as a tool to avoid getting too serious with people - if there was deep emotional stuff going on, then I would crack a joke to defuse the situation. "

" When I was, like, 15, I realized there could be a career in making people laugh - like, you could get paid to do it. That was insane to me. "

" The key to sitcom success is miserable people. If you see a happy couple, it's just gone, like when Sam and Diane got together on Cheers. "

" My favorite actor was, is, Michael Keaton. Certainly growing up, in the movie 'Night Shift' he did something brand new that I hadn't seen before that we all steal from now. And then it was in 1987 he did the movie 'Clean and Sober' and 'Beetlejuice' in the same year, and that was when I said, 'Wow, that's what I want to do.' "

" I don't have a very 'masculine' taste in music. I get a lot of heat from my friends about that. "

" I think if you look back at all those great comedies on television in the past, it's all lovable losers that gathered together - 'Taxi' and 'Cheers,' 'Seinfeld' and 'Friends.' "

" Ninety percent of video game AI really is pretty damn bad. I think that's actually why it's so much fun to shoot things. Because the AI is so bad and the characters are so annoying. "