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" Lance Armstrong has a 17th-century, 15-foot Spanish fresco of the crucifixion hanging on the wall of his Austin mansion. This doesn't mean - and some of you Armstrong acolytes might want to sit down for this - that Lance is Jesus. "

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" Think about it: You're trying to raise cash to save an endangered animal. You've got orphaned pandas getting 3 trillion YouTube hits, and you've got seals being clubbed over the head by roughnecks. The money flows in. But what about the poor shark? "

Stephen Rodrick

Money

Trying

Animal

" The everybody-loves-Jeff Bridges home base is, of course, 'The Big Lebowski.' "

" There are 316 million people in the United States of America. About six million of them watch 'Homeland,' Showtime's thriller about world terror, paranoia, and bipolar disorder. That's about 2 percent of the population; roughly what the guy with the beard running on the Libertarian Party ticket gets when he runs for Congress. "

" Rick Rubin eats no cheese. "

" There are times when a sports figure doesn't deserve sympathy. "

" Maybe it's impossible to spend time with Patrick Stewart and not have the conversation move to the extraterrestrial. "

" Ever since Mike Tyson was champ, twenty-something dudes have microwaved nachos, popped opened Natty Lights, watched sharks do unspeakable things on TV, and whispered a billion 'Whoa, dudes.' "

" The thing about living without a father if he's always gone is that it takes a long time to realize he isn't coming home. "

" To build an empire - or win seven Tour de Frances in a row - you must have a Lone Star-size ego and a dash of megalomania. "

" Brett Favre likes to tell stories. "

" Some eco groups suggest that as many as 73 million sharks are killed globally every year. Hammerheads, blue sharks, mako sharks - they're disappearing, and they ain't coming back. "

" Robert Downey Jr. doesn't work out like us regular folks. Adulation bathes him from the moment he arrives at his Los Angeles martial arts studio. "

" Jeff Bridges wants you to take it easy, man. "

" Unlike the LeBrons and A-Rods of the world, anointed as special from pre-K, Matt Leinart exudes an approachability rarely seen in superstars. It's why kids on the autograph line chat him up like a buddy with whom they could stay up late playing Xbox. "

" As a kid, Terry Bradshaw didn't amaze me. My hero was Steelers backup Terry Hanratty, who nabbed two Super Bowl rings while completing three passes. "

Stephen Rodrick

Kid

Two

" More than any other major sport, professional or amateur, college football games are decided by the physical incompetence and downright chokery of their players. "

" When superstars go down, no matter how sympathetic the circumstances, fans know the franchise could be sunk. "

" If nothing else, the act of reaching a milestone often serves to reveal a superstar's true nature. "

" Matt Leinart's L.A. duplex looks more like a Chuck E. Cheese safe house than a millionaire jock's crash pad. There's the requisite leather couch and flat-screen television, but the rest of the ground floor is bare except for a pile of Nick Jr. DVDs, a high chair, and a SpongeBob SquarePants director's chair. "

" The Smithsonian should box and preserve Tim McGraw's Nashville den for a future exhibit entitled 'Early 21st Century American Man Cave.' "

" From the outside, Rick Rubin's house above Zuma Beach is a generic millionaire beach home. There's a rarely used tennis court and a circular drive. "

" There's no doubt Matt Leinart loves his son very much. "

" Rick Rubin's undulating face hair is just as famous as his body of work. In homage to the yogis he read about as a boy on Long Island, Rubin hasn't shaved since he was 23. It's long been his registered trademark. "

" James Salter has been a fighter pilot, a rogue, and a climber. He counts Robert Redford as a friend. "

Stephen Rodrick

Rogue

Pilot