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" Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself. "

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" About all you can do in life is be who you are. Some people will love you for you. Most will love you for what you can do for them, and some won't like you at all. "

" If the world were a logical place, men would ride side saddle. "

" Don't ask to live in tranquil times. Literature doesn't grow there. "

" Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment. "

" Moral passion without entertainment is propaganda, and entertainment without moral passion is television. "

" No animal on the face of the earth could conceive of taxation. You and I work roughly six months a year to pay our local, state and federal taxes. If nothing else, this should convince you that animals are smarter than people. "

" I think the reason I choose the comic approach so often is because it's harder, therefore affording me the opportunity to show off. "

" While cats can be infuriating, little old women in fur coats, they make me laugh. Of course, dogs, horses and my highly social chickens are dear to me, too. "

" If you like my novels, I commend your good taste. "

" Life is too short to be miserable. "

Life Is Too Short

" There hasn't been a day in my life since I started Latin in ninth grade that I haven't benefited by the lives of the ancients. "

" Women who love women are Lesbians. Men, because they can only think of women in sexual terms, define Lesbian as sex between women. "

" You sell a screenplay like you sell a car. If someone drives it off a cliff, that's it. "

" Morals are private. Decency is public. "

" Not until my middle thirties did I consider myself a novelist. "

" Creativity comes from trust. Trust your instincts. And never hope more than you work. "

" To love without role, without power plays, is revolution. "

" I finally figured out the only reason to be alive is to enjoy it. "

" The reward for conformity is that everyone likes you but yourself. "

" I became a lesbian because of women, because women are beautiful, strong, and compassionate. "

" A peacefulness follows any decision, even the wrong one. "

" Language exerts hidden power, like the moon on the tides. "

" I am a comic writer, which means I get to slay the dragons, and shoot the bull. "

" Normal is the average of deviance. "

" Recognition of function always precedes recognition of being. "

" A life of reaction is a life of slavery, intellectually and spiritually. One must fight for a life of action, not reaction. "

" Political elections are not life and death. "

" Leroy bet me I couldn't find a pot of gold at the end, and I told him that was a stupid bet because the rainbow was enough. "

" We animals live life in all its glorious uncertainty. Why do politicians think they can control events? "

" Hollywood called just as I crested thirty. My novels did not and still do not interest them, but my writing ability did. "