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" Moral passion without entertainment is propaganda, and entertainment without moral passion is television. "

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" If the world were a logical place, men would ride side saddle. "

" I believe in a lively disrespect for most forms of authority. "

" Art is moral passion married to entertainment. Moral passion without entertainment is propaganda, and entertainment without moral passion is television. "

" Education is a wonderful thing. If you couldn't sign your name you'd have to pay cash. "

" Creativity comes from trust. Trust your instincts. And never hope more than you work. "

" I became a lesbian because of women, because women are beautiful, strong, and compassionate. "

" Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment. "

" Life is too short to be miserable. "

Life Is Too Short

" The reward for conformity is that everyone likes you but yourself. "

" Language exerts hidden power, like the moon on the tides. "

" A peacefulness follows any decision, even the wrong one. "

" If you like my novels, I commend your good taste. "

" Cats and dogs believe politicians are like cemetery caregivers; they are on top of everyone, but nobody listens. "

" Hollywood called just as I crested thirty. My novels did not and still do not interest them, but my writing ability did. "

" Don't ask to live in tranquil times. Literature doesn't grow there. "

" Humor comes from self-confidence. "

Self-Confidence

" We animals live life in all its glorious uncertainty. Why do politicians think they can control events? "

" About all you can do in life is be who you are. Some people will love you for you. Most will love you for what you can do for them, and some won't like you at all. "

" Divorce is the one human tragedy that reduces everything to cash. "

" No animal on the face of the earth could conceive of taxation. You and I work roughly six months a year to pay our local, state and federal taxes. If nothing else, this should convince you that animals are smarter than people. "

" Leroy bet me I couldn't find a pot of gold at the end, and I told him that was a stupid bet because the rainbow was enough. "

" Not until my middle thirties did I consider myself a novelist. "

" Recognition of function always precedes recognition of being. "

" There hasn't been a day in my life since I started Latin in ninth grade that I haven't benefited by the lives of the ancients. "

" I am a comic writer, which means I get to slay the dragons, and shoot the bull. "

" One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory. "