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" Love is the ultimate outlaw. It just won't adhere to any rules. The most any of us can do is sign on as its accomplice. "

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" At the typewriter you find out who you are. "

" I have always been a romantic, one of those people who believes that a woman in pink circus tights contains all the secrets of the universe. "

" Wit and playfulness represent a desperately serious transcendence of evil. Humor is both a form of wisdom and a means of survival. "

" One of my books is a hallucinogen, an aphrodisiac, a mood elevator, an intellectual garage door opener, and a metaphysical trash compactor. They'll do everything except rotate your tires. "

" The brutal truth is, we're scarcely 'educating' children at all. Even if you overlook the guilt, fear, bigotry, and dangerous anti-intellectual flapdoodle being funneled into young brains by schools on the religious right, what we're doing is training kids to be cogs in the wheels of commerce. "

" Well, I believe life is a Zen koan, that is, an unsolvable riddle. But the contemplation of that riddle - even though it cannot be solved - is, in itself, transformative. And if the contemplation is of high enough quality, you can merge with the divine. "

" I show up in my writing room at approximately 10 A.M. every morning without fail. Sometimes my muse sees fit to join me there and sometimes she doesn't, but she always knows where I'll be. She doesn't need to go hunting in the taverns or on the beach or drag the boulevard looking for me. "

" To be or not to be isn't the question. The question is how to prolong being. "

To Be Or Not To Be

" People write memoirs because they lack the imagination to make things up. "

" My paintings are very strange - large and empty, like walls. Just the opposite of my writing, which is rich and juicy. "

" Most Americans pay lip service to the idea of freedom, but can't handle real freedom. "

" I went to a large consolidated school in Appalachia. And I wrote the story when I was in the second grade and I took it up to the third floor to the school newspaper office that was written and edited by juniors and seniors. "

" The ultimate end of any ideology is totalitarianism. "

Totalitarianism

" Most novelists write about twisted lives. "

" I have never ever Googled myself; in fact I think the Christian right prohibits such things. "

" What bothers most critics of my work is the goofiness. One reviewer said I need to make up my mind if want to be funny or serious. My response is that I will make up my mind when God does, because life is a commingling of the sacred and the profane, good and evil. To try and separate them is fallacy. "

" I eat so much mayonnaise they were going to send me to the Mayo Clinic. "

" I am cheerful. I don't know if I'm happy. There is a difference, you know. "

" Our greatest human adventure is the evolution of consciousness. We are in this life to enlarge the soul, liberate the spirit, and light up the brain. "

" The highest function of love is that it makes the loved one a unique and irreplacable being. "

" Equality is not in regarding different things similarly, equality is in regarding different things differently. "

" In fiction, when you paint yourself into a corner, you can write a pair of suction cups onto the bottoms of your shoes and walk up the wall and out the skylight and see the sun breaking through the clouds. In nonfiction, you don't have that luxury. "

" Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature. "

" Education is for growth and fulfillment. "

" I think science has begun to demonstrate that aging is a disease. If it is, it can be cured. "

" I would only read the novels that people classify as 'beach books' if I were being held prisoner and the only alternative was the 'Book of Mormon.' "

" Writing is the hardest physical work there is. "

" Transformation, liberation and celebration are the themes of all my novels. "

" I'm not infatuated with frivolousness. We're just good friends. "

" When I sit down to write, I just let the goose out of the bottle. "