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" Minnesotans really think they run the whole world, I love that. "
Louie Anderson
Think
Love
Whole
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" When I say, 'I can't stay long, I'm in-between meals,' that plays differently on the radio than it does in person. So I have to pick material that works because the words are funny, not just because of the images. "
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" I started a big part of my career in Vegas. "
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" I would trade everything I have to have had a happier childhood. "
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" If I have food in the house and I'm laying in bed, I go, 'I bet that Captain Crunch is lonely in the cupboard.' "
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" I've been in Vegas. That's where you get into the money thing. Boy, you get greedy in Vegas, you know. That's the only place that you can bet $25, get it up to $500 and refuse to quit. "
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" I had been asking the universe and God to send me a way for me to help me. Show business has been so wonderful to me, and it came in the form of that. It's just so funny how things come into your life, and if you take a chance on them, it might give you a brand new life. "
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" I was with a famous comedian when a young fan walked up and asked for an autograph. The comedian blew him off. I'll never forget the look on the young boy's face. He was devastated. "
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" Everyone always comes to one point in their life as an artist where you can either let your heart guide you or your ego. "
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" You have to be funny about it and honest about it. You can't leave yourself out of that mix. You have to be honest enough to say, I'm that messed-up one in the family. "
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" I have a very warm spot in my heart for Vegas. "
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" I felt ashamed for what I had done. I don't have any excuses. I did what I did. I take full responsibility for myself and my actions. I wouldn't pawn this off on anybody. I'm sorry it happened. And I hurt people. "
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Sorry
People
" Well, isn't every successful person in every family the bankbook? "
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" We all think we're going to get out of debt. "
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" I have about 1,000 hours of myself on tape in a vault in Los Angeles. But I also have a photographic memory about my jokes, because they're really about me; they're my stories. "
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" Everybody wanted to make it. One guy makes it. In a family when one guy makes it... 'Hey ain't you going to help us out?' "
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" I think I have always tried to connect my comedy to my art. "
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" We were on welfare when we were kids. Thanks for reminding me of that. "
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" I'm at 23 feet, diving into 17 feet of water. I'm over 400 pounds. Who doesn't want to see that? I do. I'm always shocked that I can do it. "
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" I can't stay long; I'm in between meals. "
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" I really try to have fun. If I don't have fun, you won't have fun. That's what my gift is: to relieve people from a little of the pain and comfort in their lives by allowing my comedy to distract them. A good laugh is almost as good as any doctor visit. "
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