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" My first concert - maybe it was 1979 - was a blur. I'm not sure whether it was Blue Oyster Cult/Cheap Trick/Pat Travers at San Jose Civic Auditorium or The Police/The Knack/Robert Johnson at Berkeley's Zellerbach Auditorium. "

Greg Gutfeld

Blue

Civic

Blur

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" There's always something heroic and romantic about taking a stand against the powers that be. "

" What the media does to Trump is what they did the cops - say the police are really harmful, then later ask why people are so scared of the police. "

" When I imagine my viewer - and it sounds saccharine - but it's a family thing. People in line for my books came as families. "

" I don't think Trevor Noah got his job by being a conservative. "

" I guess coming out against actual evil takes guts. "

" Before language, cavemen simply grunted, and then they used the club. Communication changed that. It's the mechanism that created civilization and prevents its own destruction. "

" As foreign attacks increase, it's easy to treat them like bad weather happening somewhere else. It's what we read over breakfast. But when that storm hits your shores, remember this: Wishful thinking never saved a single life. The truth, however, has. "

" Here is a fact: If Facebook were a religion, it will be the third largest behind Islam and Christianity. Its success is rooted and capitalizing on the human desire to bond. "

" What a contrast, Trump is feisty but flexible. Obama, cool but rigid. But he had no reason to bend. The media already bought into his shtick. His giddy fan base ate up every white-coated lie. "

" I spent my teens in northern California listening to KALX, KUSF, and KFJC, finding people that changed my life. "

" There's a difference between being politically incorrect and boorish. And we've seen that line crossed a dozen times by smart people who've mistaken politics for punditry. "

" In the American 'melting pot,' identity politics wants to smash that pot - to bring us back to the Dark Ages, when collaboration was sparse. "

" Language turned apes like us into civil creatures. "

Greg Gutfeld

Creatures

Turned

" The PC rebellion is about a reaction against the media academic complex, which tells us what to say - or else. "

" If America oppresses, why do so many people risk their lives coming here to be oppressed? "

" ObamaCare was a lemon, but the media were his lemonheads. "

" Generally, I don't bother trying to keep up with prolific bands - but Thee Oh Sees demand it. "

Greg Gutfeld

Keep

" If you can have a skewed sense of your body, it stands to reason you could develop the same kind of thing about your relationships with others in a social network. "

" As the Left demean law-abiding gun owners, they turn flaccid when faced with the armed felon. "

" The bands I like are not obscure at all. Far from it. "

Greg Gutfeld

Bands

Far

" It's the great deception in modern culture: Bad things call for noble names to cloak their evil outcomes. "

" I've done two shows every day for years, but I don't think I could work on just one show a week. I would go crazy, and I would drive everybody nuts. I've got to feel like I'm under pressure. "

" The joy of hate reflects people who get off pretending to hate something, or hate you, in order to score political points. I call them the 'tolerati' - you know, a group of people who claim to be tolerant, except when they run into someone who disagrees with them. "

" I always thought Jon Stewart was an extremely good surgeon with his scalpel. He would have Republicans on who, I guess, were unclear about what Stewart was up to, and while Jon Stewart was being nice, he was building a case for drowning them. "

" Trump represented a movement of dissatisfaction, the dissent, unhappiness, division cultivated by years of identity politics and the bullying of arrogant, insufferable, intolerant social justice warriors who used the last two terms to punish anyone who reminded them of Daddy. "

" Listening to a FNM record is like a visit from a mysterious relative who knows more about your family than you did. "

Greg Gutfeld

Mysterious

Listening

" Do you ever see a right-wing kid violently jumping lefty speakers? On campus, you either have silent appeasement or a bruise. "

" Work together. Do not purge your allies because of purity. "

" Ideas are things that happen at any time because you're constantly thinking and evaluating life as if it were an eternally unsolvable math problem, which it is. "

" The frothing Trump-haters' extremism turns whatever criticism they have for the guy into mere parody. "