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" No Roman ever was able to say, 'I dined last night with the Borgias'. "

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" To say that a man is vain means merely that he is pleased with the effect he produces on other people. "

" Incongruity is the mainspring of laughter. "

" We must stop talking about the American dream and start listening to the dreams of Americans. "

" People who insist on telling their dreams are among the terrors of the breakfast table. "

" The delicate balance between modesty and conceit is popularity. "

" One might well say that mankind is divisible into two great classes: hosts and guests. "

" Anything that is worth doing has been done frequently. Things hitherto undone should be given, I suspect, a wide berth. "

" To give and then not feel that one has given is the very best of all ways of giving. "

" It seems to be a law of nature that no man, unless he has some obvious physical deformity, ever is loth to sit for his portrait. "

" Nobody ever died of laughter. "

" No fine work can be done without concentration and self-sacrifice and toil and doubt. "

" Good sense about trivialities is better than nonsense about things that matter. "

" Of all the objects of hatred, a woman once loved is the most hateful. "

" As a teacher, as a propagandist, Mr. Shaw is no good at all, even in his own generation. But as a personality, he is immortal. "

" I need no dictionary of quotations to remind me that the eyes are the windows of the soul. "

" To destroy is still the strongest instinct in nature. "

" When hospitality becomes an art it loses its very soul. "

" Some people are born to lift heavy weights, some are born to juggle golden balls. "

" Humility is a virtue, and it is a virtue innate in guests. "

" There is much to be said for failure. It is much more interesting than success. "

" I was a modest, good-humoured boy. It is Oxford that has made me insufferable. "

" You will find that the woman who is really kind to dogs is always one who has failed to inspire sympathy in men. "

" Most women are not as young as they are painted. "

" Men of genius are not quick judges of character. Deep thinking and high imagining blunt that trivial instinct by which you and I size people up. "

" The Non-Conformist Conscience makes cowards of us all. "

" To mankind in general Macbeth and Lady Macbeth stand out as the supreme type of all that a host and hostess should not be. "

" People are either born hosts or born guests. "

" A hundred eyes were fixed on her, and half as many hearts lost to her. "

" It is easier to confess a defect than to claim a quality. "

" Only mediocrity can be trusted to be always at its best. "