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" A lot of times, it seems like social media has devolved into people just yelling at each other and not really conversing. "
Kumail Nanjiani
People
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Just
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" I started doing standup because of Hugh Grant's best-man speech in 'Four Weddings,' which is basically a standup routine. "
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" You can get stuck in the trap of reading your YouTube comments all the time. Sometimes I regret it. Not everyone is going to love you. And for some reason, stand-up has this thing where everyone thinks they can do it. So everyone thinks they're an expert. "
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" I stay home. It's the best place to be alone. There is hardly any walk-through traffic. "
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" Stand-up is successful if they laugh. It's unsuccessful if they don't laugh. "
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" When generally people make race-based jokes to me - even if they're not technically racist, they're sort of based on me being Pakistani or whatever - on Twitter, you know, I block a lot of people who say something weird about my name or something. It does bug me generally, but it is all about context. "
Kumail Nanjiani
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" 'Four Weddings and a Funeral' is one of my favorite movies, and I laugh all the time, and I cry during the one funeral. But I'll say that 'Monsters, Inc.' is a movie that really gets me super-emotional. Especially the ending. "
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Me
Cry
Ending
" The worst job I ever had was an office job that I had for six years, and that's nothing against the people who I was surrounded by, because they were wonderful people. "
Kumail Nanjiani
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" I just hope that there's a market for somebody who looks like me as the lead of a rom-com, you know? "
Kumail Nanjiani
Looks
Like
Know
" I loved the Oscars, and I had V.H.S. tapes for the Oscars, and I used to watch them over and over. There was probably one year where I watched it, like, 20 times or something. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Year
Loved
Over
" I was actually looking at the poster for 'Tarzan,' and I was thinking how abs look so different now. These are not your grandma's abs. They go so deep and so sharp now. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Now
Deep
Go
" I love, love, love the street-cart food. Gyros are like a meat-flavored fruit roll-up. A meat roll-up. "
Kumail Nanjiani
I Love
Fruit
Like
" Being a fish out of water is tough, but that's how you evolve. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Out
Fish
Evolve
" I never decided I wanted to be an actor. I just started doing standup because I love standup. Everything else has sort of been these tiny steps leading to this. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Doing
Never
Love
" TV requires a lot more patience. No one's ever like, 'I gotta get up at 5 A.M. and write my stand-up!' It's an easy life. With 'Silicon Valley,' it's long hours and very unglamorous. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Patience
Easy
Valley
" I don't go, 'It is now time to change Americans' perception of Muslims. It's going to be a long day.' I think you just try to be unique and try to be yourself, and if something good comes of that, then great. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Change
Day
Yourself
" My parents don't really understand my career. They don't really bring it up that much. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Up
Understand
Parents
" When I started working on 'Michael And Michael,' it was my life for three to four months, and then suddenly it's gone. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Life
My Life
Working
" One of my favorite comedies is 'Shaun of the Dead.' "
Kumail Nanjiani
Comedies
Dead
Favorite
" My mom told us never to reveal that we were Shia in school. You would find out that some other kid was Shiite, and you would whisper, 'Hey,' or you would see someone at the mosque, and you'd be like, 'Hey, that kid's Shiite!' There was a lot of tension, a lot of violence in Karachi between Shiites and Sunnis. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Violence
School
Mom
" Populate your life with people different from you. Once you leave school, you get to choose the kinds of people you're going to be around rather than forced to be around them. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Life
People
Choose
" Honestly, I would love to be friends with Fox Mulder on 'The X-Files.' That's almost a little too obvious, but that would be my answer. I'd love to hang out with him. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Hang
Love
Answer
" Because of the Internet, you're sort of forced to deal with people from very different backgrounds and beliefs. It's a great challenge of our time, and depending on when you ask me, I feel optimistic or pessimistic about it. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Great
Challenge
People
" Most of my exposure to American pop culture was through this weird prism of 'Mad' magazine. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Culture
Through
Weird
" I think, you know, a lot of the business of comedy is taking your personal experiences and making them relatable to other people. "
Kumail Nanjiani
People
Know
You
" Most people don't really do too many things because they're afraid they'll fail. There are people failing all the time, all around you. And nobody is going to notice your failure. Your failure is not going to be so spectacular that people write news stories about it. Your failure will be boring. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Nobody
News
You
" I started a podcast about 'X-Files' and ended up on it. Then I started a podcast about video games, and I'm in the new 'Mass Effect' game. I have to pick the stuff I love and do a podcast on it. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Love
Video Games
Game
" I was not a cool kid. There was no reason for me to be marginalised. I was just a nerd. I was kind of weird, and I found solace in video games. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Weird
Video Games
Cool
" I grew up watching 'Ghostbusters' and 'Knight Rider' and Hot Wheels commercials. When I got to college, having never set foot in America, I knew more American pop-culture references than my friends did. "
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Hot
America
Friends
" Nobody really knows what they're doing. Some are just better at pretending like they do. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Pretending
Nobody
Like
" You can go slow. Allow your dreams and goals to change, but live an intentional life. "
Kumail Nanjiani
Change
You
Live