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" Oh, I was some efficiency expert. On my first day, I couldn't find my own office in Hartford and wound up in the Post Office. "

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" I've been there a thousand years, and I never felt comfortable. Beverly Hills - when I first saw it, I thought they put it up this morning. You got to pack water to get to the drugstore. "

" I hate to talk about typecasting, because being typecast as Columbo ain't cancer. "

" I'm old fashioned. I really think you should know how to draw before you start painting. I use charcoal and graphite; I put a skylight in. In my house, I turned the garage into an art studio. So I'm awash in art studios. "

" I watch practically no TV - ah, what the hell do I watch? Oh, I was for a long time addicted to CNN. "

" Good actors are always looking for props. They're looking for behavior. It makes it a lot easier. You're not solely dependent of what's coming out of your mouth. You're also less self-conscious, less aware of the camera. "

" Most people think glamor is happiness. "

" When I was a kid growing up, you maybe secretly wanted to be an actor, but you never said. "

" The female body is awesome. "

" I wanted to become an actor, but I didn't want to admit it. "

" I do figure every angle of a guy I'm acting - but not consciously 'til afterward. "

" I remember being amazed that actors had a union. I thought only coal miners had unions, or guys that worked in automobile plants. That's an indication of how naive I was. "

" There's a bit of a problem. The script that I like, the network doesn't like. The script that they like, I don't like. "

" You think you're in another civilization, another time, and then you see antennas coming out of these hovels, and your mouth falls open when you see the descendants of the Incas shouting 'Columbo! Columbo!' "

" Everybody wants to be a movie star. I bet if you ask that guy would he like to be a movie star, he'd say, 'Sure.' "

" It helps an actor an awful lot when he looks like the part. There's nothing more disconcerting, that makes you more anxious or more insecure, than when you don't look like who you're supposed to be. "

" I don't like getting up in the morning, getting in a car, driving on a freeway, and stopping at a gate where two guards are standing there, then walk into a studio that looks like a bunch of airplane hangars. "

" I've worked with some terrific actors. The list of guys that came on the 'Columbo' show, I mean they were world-class actors from all over the world - Oskar Werner, Laurence Harvey, Donald Pleasence, you know... foreigners. "

" I used to take girls out on a date to Night Court. And I'll tell you, most girls, they got a kick out of going to Night Court. 'Cause you get a lot of laughs... and it's cheap. "

" I'm just looking to get through the day. "

" Sometimes I was in school plays, but only when the kid they'd originally picked got sick and they asked me to substitute. "

" I didn't become an actor until I was an old man of 28 or 29. I declared to the world that I was an actor. Nobody heard me, but I did declare it. "

" If I'm a guy reading a newspaper, and I hear this actor who I know gets great seats at basketball games, and he's complaining about being typecast, I think, 'Hey man, count your blessings.' "

" I'm secretly very stuffy. "

" Certainly, you envy the guys that have done all kinds of things, a variety of good scripts and good directors. Then again, having worked with Cassavetes has satisfied a big part of that. "

" I've been asked a few thousand times how much of Columbo is Falk and vice versa. "

" I still get fan mail for Columbo. "

" I don't dwell on it. But I guess everybody hopes that they go in their sleep and that it won't be long and painful. "

" The only mountain that I would still like to climb: I'd like to break 85. "

" I once did a film in Russia because I wanted to see what the hell was going on there. "

" The first time I ever spoke to John Cassavetes was at a Lakers game. I got up to go for a hot dog, and he was coming in the opposite direction. I don't know who said hello first, but we started talking, and it turned out that he went to high school with my first wife, Alice. "