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" On the very same day that I ordered an iPad 2, I went shopping to buy myself a letter opener. I like to cover all my bases. "
Susan Orlean
iPad
Same
Day
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" When I heard about the Microsoft Kinect, though, I felt an urgency rising in me. A game you played without touching any machinery? A chance to wave your hands around, Minority-Report style, and move things around on a screen? This sounded like almost too much fun, with gadget-y pizzazz that sounded astonishing. "
Susan Orlean
Hands
Style
Chance
" I went to a football school, which meant that I went to a university that served up education and was simultaneously operating a sports franchise. "
Susan Orlean
Football
Education
Up
" Recently, I have come to assume that any call to my landline is from a telemarketer or an automated call from Terminex, letting me know that our regularly scheduled pest-extermination service will occur on its regular schedule. So I usually ignore my home phone. "
Susan Orlean
Ignore
Service
Home
" I can imagine a future in which real books will exist but in a more limited, particular way. "
Susan Orlean
Way
Will
I Can
" Sometimes, the Internet can feel like a middle-school playground populated by brats in ski masks who name-call and taunt with the fake bravery of the anonymous. But sometimes - thank goodness - it's nicer than real life. "
Susan Orlean
Feel
Internet
Life
" I want a chainsaw very badly, because I think cutting down a tree would be unbelievably satisfying. I have asked for a chainsaw for my birthday, but I think I'll probably be given jewelry instead. "
Susan Orlean
Birthday
Down
Jewelry
" When I still lived in Manhattan, people-watching was my hobby, and I spent many Sunday afternoons eating up the scene from a window seat at a Starbucks on Broadway. "
Susan Orlean
Sunday
Window
Hobby
" Even after I'd published three books and had been writing full-time for twenty years, my father continued to urge me to go to law school. "
Susan Orlean
Law
Writing
Three
" Human relationships used to be easy: you had friends, boy- or girlfriends, parents, children, and landlords. Now, thanks to social media, it's all gone sideways. "
Susan Orlean
Children
Media
Parents
" The genius of a folk melody or story is not the feeling that it's original but quite the opposite - the feeling that it has existed all along. "
Susan Orlean
Genius
Original
Story
" I once had a boyfriend who couldn't write unless he was wearing a necktie and a dress shirt, which I thought was really weird, because this was a long time ago, and no one I knew ever wore dress shirts, let alone neckties; it was like he was a grown-up reenacter or something. "
Susan Orlean
Weird
Alone
Dress
" I teach a non-fiction writing class at New York University, and one of my great pleasures is deciding on the syllabus. "
Susan Orlean
New York
Writing
Great
" I remember, when I was a kid, watching my mother jam herself into her girdle - a piece of equipment so rigid it could stand up on its own - and I remember her coming home from fancy parties and racing upstairs to extricate herself from its cruel iron grip. "
Susan Orlean
Remember
Stand Up
Stand
" What's funny is that the idea of popularity - even the use of the word 'popular' - is something that had been mostly absent from my life since junior high. In fact, the hallmark of life after junior high seemed to be the shedding of popularity as a central concern. "
Susan Orlean
High
Word
Life
" I don't care that much about rote memorization. An old boyfriend of mine used to get into lacerating arguments with his parents over facts, and I used to watch on in mute astonishment. How could anyone actually argue about something that could be looked up? "
Susan Orlean
Over
Parents
Watch
" Everything rational and sensible abandons me when I try to throw out photographs. Time and time again, I hold one over a wastebasket, and then find it impossible to release my fingers and let the picture drop and disappear. "
Susan Orlean
Picture
Impossible
Find
" Writers like to write, and writing in different forms - short, long, bite-sized, done on the fly, done with painstaking attention - all interest me. "
Susan Orlean
Fly
Attention
Long
" In the course of transferring all my CDs to my iPod, I have found myself wandering the musical hallways of my past and reacquainting myself with music I haven't listened to in years. "
Susan Orlean
Myself
Music
Past
" I feel somewhat responsible for the Borders Books bankruptcy. "
Susan Orlean
Feel
Responsible
Books
" College athletics are so entrenched and enjoyed by so many people that they will never be discontinued or substantially changed. I know that. I just pity the people caught in that tender trap. And most of all, I pity those kids. "
Susan Orlean
College
Just
Know
" There are many bad things in this world of ours, but the use of the word 'monetize' has to rank high among them. Also, 'incentivize.' Actually, all the '-ize' words, like 'contextualize' and 'utilize' and 'prioritize.' And - this is almost too horrible to type - 'juniorize.' "
Susan Orlean
Like
Horrible
High
" When I was a kid, Halloween was strictly a starchy-vegetable-only holiday, with pumpkins and Indian corn on the front stoop; there was nothing electric, nothing inflatable, nothing with latex membranes or strobes. "
Susan Orlean
Holiday
Kid
Nothing
" I was never any good at remembering dates, but now I hardly have to. When the first bulb catalogs get delivered and the hens start laying again, that's all the notice I'll need to know that winter has passed. "
Susan Orlean
Know
Need
Now
" I had never considered using a hashtag anywhere other than on Twitter, but now I'm inspired. Text messages have always seemed a little flat to me, so the murmuring Greek chorus of a hashtag might be a perfect way to liven them up and give them a bit of dimension. "
Susan Orlean
Me
Always
Never
" I am of mixed minds about the issue of privacy. On one hand, I understand that information is power, and power is, well, power, so keeping your private information to yourself is essential - especially if you are a controversial figure, a celebrity, or a dissident. "
Susan Orlean
Power
Yourself
You
" There was a time when I kept track of it all; when my mind worked like a giant lint brush being swept over the fuzzy surface of popular culture. But these days, pop culture seems to have gotten fuzzier and fuzzier; notoriety comes and goes in the snap of a finger. "
Susan Orlean
Like
Over
Mind
" Parents, it seems, have an almost Olympian persistence when it comes to suggesting more secure and lucrative lines of work for their children who have the notion that writing is an actual profession. I say this from experience. "
Susan Orlean
Experience
Children
Persistence
" I'm happy to be reminded that an ordinary day full of nothing but nothingness can make you feel like you've won the lottery. "
Susan Orlean
Feel
Day
Happy
" Oversized houses, like oversized cars, seem to be a particularly American fixation. "
Susan Orlean
Like
Seem
American
" I'm always mystified by the day-to-day workings of entities like Twitter that provide framework but not content, but I suppose it could be compared to the U.S. Postal Service, which manages to keep a lot of people employed doing lots of stuff other than writing letters. "
Susan Orlean
Writing
People
Content