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" Some people will do schlock or anything, just to get their name on it. "

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" None of the established museums were treating cartoons seriously. It was considered a lesser art or no art at all, just a way to sell newspapers. Even the syndicates who were dedicated to the cartoons were throwing them out, figuring they had no value after they were printed. "

" When I first started, you couldn't mention divorce or death. You couldn't show smelly socks. You couldn't show a snake. They took a skunk out of my strip one time. "

" I think it's legitimate to do satire. If you're going to write a book of satire on Marilyn Monroe or Madonna, you're not going to get their permission, because you're going to make fun of them! "

" I go to the grocery store with my wife. She goes off to buy something. Where is she, anyways? So I ask the manager, 'What aisle do they keep the wives in?' "

" Seven days without laughter makes one weak. "

" I took my basic training on a golf course in Florida. Then I was on the boxing team. We did some demonstrations, and they put me in a theater one night and wanted me to box. So OK, I came out boxing with a friend - thinking we would just spar around - but the guy walked out, hit me, and knocked me out with one stroke. "

" When I write 'Beetle Bailey,' I can always do jokes about him being lazy, and everyone gets it. "

" At one time Tribune Syndicate emptied out their storeroom. They put tables full of original cartoons down in the lobby and said take one if you want one. The comics were simply a burden to them. "

" Comics have always helped people to read. A lot of people learned to read by reading the comics. And it's our livelihood, after all. If people don't know how to read, they're not reading our comics. "

" Everything I know, I write about. My only research is what I did. "

" I've always said that what cartoonists do is create friends for readers. "

" I like a happy ending. That's what I do all the time. I like to make people feel happy. "

" Beetle is the embodiment of everybody's resistance to authority, all the rules and regulations which you've got to follow. He deals with it in his own way. And in a way, it's sort of what I did when I was in the Army. I just oftentimes did what I wanted to do. "

" You learn just by trying and experimenting. By the time I was 14, I had my own comic strip in the Kansas City paper. "

" When the war was over and the guys were back to shaving every day, the editor thought the Beetle Bailey strips were hurting their disciplinary efforts to get the guys back to routine. "

" My father was a dreamer who was always broke. He wanted to be a cartoonist. "

" Laughter is the brush that sweeps away the cobwebs of your heart. "

" Old cartoonists never retire, they just erase away. "

" Beetle Bailey is actually me, in uniform. I've got about 20 characters, and they're all after friends of mine. "

" I don't know how I'd be retired. I wake up every day with another idea. "

" People take a liking to me like I'm a long-lost friend. "

" Professionals don't get writer's block. I can always come up with the punch line. "

" Most people are sort of against authority. Here's Beetle always challenging authority. I think people relate to it. "

" I first sold a cartoon for five dollars. I was in the fifth grade. "

" Belly buttons were a big battle of mine. Down at the syndicate, they would clip them out with a razor blade. I began putting so many of them in, in the margins and everywhere, that they had a little box down there called 'Beetle Bailey''s Belly-Button Box. The editors finally gave up after I did one strip showing a delivery of navel oranges. "

" I was kicked out of The Stars And Stripes twice, and finally got back in. "

" I say, if you believe what you read in the comic strips, then you believe that mice run around with little gold buttons on their red pants and drive cars. "

" Humor strips dominated what were called the funny papers early in the century, but by the 1920s and '30s, adventure strips had taken over. With 'Beetle Bailey,' I revived the funny part of the funny papers, and I'd be proud to be remembered for that. "

" You can go through comic strips alone and study the common man. You can trace our history. "

" About the only way you can find out about the common man, his slang, what he looked like, what he thought, is through the comic strips. It's a powerful way for young people to learn history. "