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" Television has a real problem. They have no page two. "
" So far things are going my way. I am known in the hospice as The Man Who Wouldn't Die. I don't know if this is true or not, but I think some people, not many, are starting to wonder why I'm still around. "
" I worship the quicksand he walks in. "
" This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn't let me - Homeland Security. "
" If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it. "
" The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water. "
" I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team. "
" A bad liver is to a Frenchman what a nervous breakdown is to an American. Everyone has had one and everyone wants to talk about it. "
" Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television? "
" Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got. "
" Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new program comes along to make you wonder where you thought the ebb was. "
" You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it. "
" Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before. "
In The Past