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" The harder you try to become the opposite of your parents, the more quickly you become them. "

Douglas Coupland

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" Florida isn't so much a place where one goes to reinvent oneself, as it is a place where one goes if one no longer wished to be found. "

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" Brain research tells us that only twenty percent of human beings have a sense of irony, which means that eighty percent of the world takes everything at face value. "

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" Money isn't money anymore. Time doesn't feel like time anymore. Your sense of community, it's evaporated, too, or it's turned into something you visit at 2 A.M. on a website. "

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" Gap clothing allows you to look like you're from nowhere and anywhere. "

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" Tofu hot dogs are actually scarier than real hot dogs. It's like wanting the worst possible meat product without even the thrill of it actually being meat. "

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" Clowns drink to blot out the ravages of terrifying children for a living. "

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" In our heads we're all about 33 years old. "

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" It feels wistful to imagine a time when people didn't go about their daily routine with the assumption that at any moment another massive media technology will be dumped on us by some geek in California. "

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" I think most people either forget or don't know that Microsoft only hires people with I.Q.'s well over 130. "

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" When you crop the photo, you tell a lie. "

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" I think that in the future, clocks won't say three o'clock anymore. They'll just get right to the point and rename three o'clock 'Pepsi.' "

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" Nobody likes being told who or what they are. "

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" What exactly is it that humans do that is specifically human? There has to be something. How odd it is for billions of people to be alive, yet not one of them is really quite sure of what makes people people. "

Douglas Coupland

" A vast percentage of the human race is literally not wired neurologically to get irony. Well more than half of humanity takes life at face value, which is to me terrifying. "

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" I like doing radio because it's so intimate. The moment people hear your voice, you're inside there heads, not only that, you're in there laying eggs. "

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" We really ought to give ourselves a collective pat on the back for doing as well as we have in a universe of constant media change and mutation. "

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" I've become a day writer: most people start as night writers, and I used to be, but something happened to my endocrine system. I do miss the 3 A.M. writing jags. "

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" You can't get mad at weather because weather's not about you. Apply that lesson to most other aspects of life. "

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" People are pretty forgiving when it comes to other people's families. The only family that ever horrifies you is your own. "

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" Only losers make decisions when things are bad. The time to rejig your life is the time when it's seemingly smooth. "

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" If you don't have a spiritual practice in place when times are good, you can't expect to suddenly develop one during a moment of crisis. "

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" It's weird when people start sentences with 'frankly' - as if their other sentences don't count. "

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" I get verklempt if I see a vintage TI-30 or TI-54 calculator. But I don't think I'd want to use one. "

Douglas Coupland

" We live in an era with no historical precedents. History is no longer useful as a tool in helping us understand current changes. "

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" Sometimes the best lighting of all is a power failure. "

Douglas Coupland

" The things worth writing about, and the things worth reading about, are the things that feel almost beyond description at the start and are, because of that, frightening. "

Douglas Coupland

" If I don't learn something new every year, I go crazy. "

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" For whatever reason, I tend to get reporters who are maybe in the middle of intense therapy, and they turn what's supposed to be a professional interview into therapy for themselves. "

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" When the world throws you too much information, the only way you can stay sane or survive is to look for pattern recognition. Amidst all the blurs, is there a constellation that emerges, is there a straight line that's emerging? "

Douglas Coupland