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" The landlady of a boarding-house is a parallelogram - that is, an oblong angular figure, which cannot be described, but which is equal to anything. "

Stephen Leacock

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" What we call creative work, ought not to be called work at all, because it isn't. I imagine that Thomas Edison never did a day's work in his last fifty years. "

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" It's a lie, but Heaven will forgive you for it. "

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" Advertising: the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it. "

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" Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl. "

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" On the same bill and on the same side of it there should not be two charges for the same thing. "

Stephen Leacock

" Writing is no trouble: you just jot down ideas as they occur to you. The jotting is simplicity itself - it is the occurring which is difficult. "

Stephen Leacock

" He flung himself from the room, flung himself upon his horse and rode madly off in all directions. "

Stephen Leacock

" The classics are only primitive literature. They belong to the same class as primitive machinery and primitive music and primitive medicine. "

Stephen Leacock

" I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it. "

Stephen Leacock

" It's called political economy because it is has nothing to do with either politics or economy. "

Stephen Leacock

" Electricity is of two kinds, positive and negative. The difference is, I presume, that one comes a little more expensive, but is more durable; the other is a cheaper thing, but the moths get into it. "

Stephen Leacock

" Now, the essence, the very spirit of Christmas is that we first make believe a thing is so, and lo, it presently turns out to be so. "

Stephen Leacock

" There are two things in ordinary conversation which ordinary people dislike - information and wit. "

Stephen Leacock

" Personally, I would sooner have written Alice in Wonderland than the whole Encyclopedia Britannica. "

Stephen Leacock

" Each section of the British Isles has its own way of laughing, except Wales, which doesn't. "

Stephen Leacock

" The Lord said 'let there be wheat' and Saskatchewan was born. "

Stephen Leacock

" Life, we learn too late, is in the living, the tissue of every day and hour. "

Stephen Leacock

" Astronomy teaches the correct use of the sun and the planets. "

Stephen Leacock

" Men are able to trust one another, knowing the exact degree of dishonesty they are entitled to expect. "

Stephen Leacock

" I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so. "

Stephen Leacock

" It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse. This, however, I have. I get it at about forty cents a flask, and take it as required. "

Stephen Leacock

" A sportsman is a man who every now and then, simply has to get out and kill something. "

Stephen Leacock

" It is to be observed that 'angling' is the name given to fishing by people who can't fish. "

Stephen Leacock

" In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies. "

Stephen Leacock