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" The moment someone asks you to do something you don't have the time or inclination to do is fraught with vulnerability. "

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" When the people we love stop paying attention, trust begins to slip away and hurt starts seeping in. "

" To me, constructive criticism is when people take ownership of their ideas. That's why I don't listen to anything that's anonymous. But it's hard; when there's something hurtful out there, I still want to read it over and over and memorize it and explain my point of view to the person. "

" I hesitate to use a pathologizing label, but underneath the so-called narcissistic personality is definitely shame and the paralyzing fear of being ordinary. "

" Vulnerability is about showing up and being seen. It's tough to do that when we're terrified about what people might see or think. "

" When you stop caring what people think, you lose your capacity for connection. When you're defined by it, you lose our capacity for vulnerability. "

" Men walk this tightrope where any sign of weakness illicits shame, and so they're afraid to make themselves vulnerable for fear of looking weak. "

" Waking up every day and loving someone who may or may not love us back, whose safety we can't ensure, who may stay in our lives or may leave without a moment's notice, who may be loyal to the day they die or betray us tomorrow - that's vulnerability. "

" I'm not a parenting expert. In fact, I'm not sure that I even believe in the idea of 'parenting experts.' I'm an engaged, imperfect parent and a passionate researcher. I'm an experienced mapmaker and a stumbling traveler. Like many of you, parenting is by far my boldest and most daring adventure. "

" Normally, when someone we love is turning away from a struggle, we self-protect by also turning away. That's definitely my first response. I think change is more likely to happen if both partners have common language and a shared lens to see problems. "

" Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be our best. Perfectionism is not about healthy achievement and growth; it's a shield. "

" Vulnerability is basically uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. "

" If you think dealing with issues like worthiness and authenticity and vulnerability are not worthwhile because there are more pressing issues, like the bottom line or attendance or standardized test scores, you are sadly, sadly mistaken. It underpins everything. "

" I don't have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness - it's right in front of me if I'm paying attention and practicing gratitude. "

" I love to take, process and share photos - it fills me up. "

" The intention and outcome of vulnerability is trust, intimacy and connection. The outcome of oversharing is distrust, disconnection - and usually a little judgment. "

" Kids who have an understanding of how and why their feelings are what they are are much more likely to talk to us about what's happening, and they have better skills to work it out. "

" Anonymous comments? You're not in the arena, man. If you can't say it to me in person in front of my kids, don't say it. "

" I think if you follow anyone home, whether they live in Houston or London, and you sit at their dinner table and talk to them about their mother who has cancer or their child who is struggling in school, and their fears about watching their lives go by, I think we're all the same. "

" My husband's a pediatrician, so he and I talk about parenting all the time. You can't raise children who have more shame resilience than you do. "

" If I feel good about my parenting, I have no interest in judging other people's choices. If I feel good about my body, I don't go around making fun of other people's weight or appearance. We're hard on each other because we're using each other as a launching pad out of our own perceived deficiency. "

" Maybe stories are just data with a soul. "

" You're imperfect, and you're wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging. "

" I think our capacity for wholeheartedness can never be greater than our willingness to be broken-hearted. It means engaging with the world from a place of vulnerability and worthiness. "

" We judge people in areas where we're vulnerable to shame, especially picking folks who are doing worse than we're doing. "

" I'm just going to say it: I'm pro-guilt. Guilt is good. Guilt helps us stay on track because it's about our behavior. It occurs when we compare something we've done - or failed to do - with our personal values. "

" As a shame researcher, I know that the very best thing to do in the midst of a shame attack is totally counterintuitive: Practice courage and reach out! "

" When we're looking for compassion, we need someone who is deeply rooted, is able to bend and, most of all, embraces us for our strengths and struggles. "

" We're hardwired for connection. There's no arguing with the bioscience. But we can want it so badly we're trying to hot-wire it. "

" Many people think of perfectionism as striving to be your best, but it is not about self-improvement; it's about earning approval and acceptance. "

" The best marriages are the ones where we can go out in the world and really put ourselves out there. A lot of times we'll fail, and sometimes we'll pull it off. But good marriages are when you can go home and know that your vulnerability will be honored as courage, and that you'll find support. "